4300
(From http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html)

"So long as we are loved by others I should say that we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend."

4301
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

4302
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

4303
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.

4304
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

4305
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.

4306
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live in other places.

4307
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

4308
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

4309
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

4310
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.

4311
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change into a sun in the daytime.

4312
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

4313
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to become oil.

4314
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.

4315
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

4316
True Excerpts from Science Papers Written by Kids...

I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

4317
Actual flight crew statements...

"As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position."

4318
Actual flight crew statements...

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

4319
Actual flight crew statements...

"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

4320
Actual flight crew statements...

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane.

4321
Actual flight crew statements...

Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.

4322
Actual flight crew statements...

Good morning. As we leave Dallas, it's warm, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. We are going to Charlotte, where it's dark, windy and raining. Why in the world y'all wanna go there I really don't know."

4323
Actual flight crew statements...

Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane 'til we land... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

4324
Actual flight crew statements...

After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

4325
Actual flight crew statements...

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella...WHOA..!"

4326
Actual flight crew statements...

Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children.

4327
Actual flight crew statements...

As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.

4328
Actual flight crew statements...

"And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight.

4329
The world is your playground. Why aren't you playing?

4330
Goals are dreams with deadlines.

4331
I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow.

4332
Go the extra mile. It's never crowded.

4333
When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out he best in ourselves.

4334
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

4335
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

4336
It's easy to get good players. Getting' 'em to play together, that's they hard part.

4337
A good plan executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week.

4338
...skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.

4339
I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

4340
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. sometime I just go for an estimate.

4341
In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

4342
There is more to life than increasing its speed.

4343
April prepares her green traffic light, and the world thinks go.

4344
A clown is like aspirin; only he works twice as fast.

4345
Never ruin an apology with an excuse.

4346
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

4347
It's better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.

4348
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

4349
My interest is in the future...because I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.

4350
You never know when you're making a memory.

4351
A genius is a talented person who does his homework.

4352
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.

4353
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot - but I always found them.

4354
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations writers.

4355
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

4356
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.

4357
Today's greatest labor-saving device is tomorrow.

4358
It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up again.

4359
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.

4360
Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.

4361
Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.

4362
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.

4363
I can live for two months on a good compliment.

4364
Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.

4365
The most important thing in communication is to hear what is not being said.

4366
A man who doesn't stand for something will fall for anything.

4367
We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.

4368
Imagination is the true major carpet.

4369
The moment may be temporary, but the memory is forever.

4370
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they are not so good and sympathizes with your problems when they are not so bad.

4371
The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.

4372
Top cats often begin as underdogs.

4373
One thought driven home is better than three left on base

4374
Just when you think you have graduated from the school of experience, someone thinks up a new course.

4375
Change starts when someone sees the next step.

4376
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.

4377
To be the champ you have to believe in yourself when nobody else will.

4378
Your expression is the most important thing you can wear.

4379
Kindness can become its own motive. we are made kind by being kind.

4380
Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it.

4381
Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.

4382
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.

4383
If only God would give me a clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

4384
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

4385
Most people want to be delivered from temptation, but would like it to keep in touch.

4386
It is easy to be brave from a safe distance.

4387
You can't say civilization won't advance...for in every war they kill you a new way.

4388
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.

4389
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education..

4390
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

4391
To have true justice we must have equal harassment under the law.

4392
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

4393
"Life is a lie..foolish people believe that they can end this lie win a moment , but truly wise people know that it takes a lifetime to get rid ofthe lies in your life and see the truth".;

4394
"Public opinion is a weak tyrant when compared to your own thoughts".

4395
"life isn't always as it seems there is always some misconception in our lives."

4396
"If you can't understand others, then why try to... if you can't understand yourself, then why live".

4397
"I just want to blow up society as it is".

4398
Sticks and stones will break your bones, words will never hurt you, but a lack of words will shatter your heart".

4399
When the insects take over the world, we hope they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

4400
Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

4401 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Ever notice that a human baby doesn't walk until it's tall enough to reach a parent's hand?

4402 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the drive before it has stopped snowing.

4403 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

"There is only one pretty child in the world and every parent has it."

4404 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

4405 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child ...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

4406 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

4407 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Children will soon forget your presents, but they will always remember your presence.

4408 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

4409 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

4410 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.

4411 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

We did have to childproof our home about 3 years ago ... but somehow they still get in!

4412 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

4413 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

4414 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

4415 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

4416 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

4417 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool a Mom.

4418 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

I love to give homemade gifts ...which one of my kids do you want?

4419 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes.

4420 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.

4421 Kids...Kids...Kids - Enjoy Them!

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up!

4422 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"There are thoughts which are prayers. There are moments when, whatever the posture of the body, the soul is on its knees."

4423 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"We can only know one thing about God-that he is what we are not. Our wretchedness alone is an image of this. The more we contemplate it, the more we contemplate him."

4424 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"The call of death is a call of love. Death can be sweet if we answer it in the affirmative, if we accept it as one of the great eternal forms of life and transformation."

4425 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"Perhaps life is just that...a dream and a fear."

4426 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it."

4427 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"The more we know, the better we forgive. Whoever feels deeply, feels for all who live."

4428 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"The greatest gift is a portion of thyself."

4429 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"You never know what happiness a simple act if kindness will bring about."

4430 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then what you have to do"

4431 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"Enjoy yourslef. These are the good old days you are going to miss in the years ahead."

4432 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

4433 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and ne it."

4434 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"So long as we are loved by others I should say that we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend."

4435 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"There are thoughts which are prayers. There are moments when, whatever the posture of the body, the soul is on its knees."

4436 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

"There is enough in this world for everyman's need. There is not enough in this world for even ONE man's greed."

4437 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.

4438 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

I wake up each morning determined to change the world...and also to have one hell of a good time. Sometimes that makes planning the day a little difficult."

4439 Quotes from http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1010/quotes.html

Love looketh not with the eyes but with the heart.

4440 "You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime."

4441 No one has ever done anything too bad to be forgiven.

4442 Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child.

4443 "If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor."

4444 "If you want to feel rich, just count up all the things you have that money can't buy."

4445 "Too many of us who want eternal life do not seem to know what to do with one single rainy afternoon."

4446 "Person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt person doing it."

4447 Here's a handy tip: Don't move your clocks forward or back an hour, like you're supposed to each Spring and Fall. By holding back that hour, you'll soon have enough saved up to take a day off from work!

4448 I read that "Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Well, if success means having to sweat, you can forget it, man.

4449 You know how the Roadrunner is always getting killed, and then keeps coming back to life? I think this sets a bad example for children, because no bird could really run as fast as the Roadrunner.

4450 In life you have to learn to take the good with the bad. And then you learn to take the bad with a little Scotch.

4451 Supreme Court Pizza: It comes with nine toppings, but they can't guarantee what side they'll be on.

4452 I count myself in nothing else so happy As in a soul remembering my good friends.

4453 Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

4454 All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant.

4455 Be so true to thyself as thou be not false to others.

4456 Some people bring joy and happiness wherever they go--others wheneverthey go.

4457 Everything is created twice -- first mentally, then physically.

4458 What we plant in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action.

4459 If you rest, you rust.

4460 It is your choices that make you uniquely you.

4461 I promise to keep on living as though I expected to live forever. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul.

4462 Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.

4463 Act honestly, and answer boldly.

4464 The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.

4465 "I would trade all my tomorrow's for just one yesterday."

4466 "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow."

4467 Becoming generous, carrying someone else for a while, does amazing things for your self-esteem.

4468 If you want to get somewhere you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never give up.

4469 "Let every dawn of the morning be to you as the beginning of life. And let every setting of the sun be to you as its close. Then let every one of these short lives leave its sure record of some kindly thing done for others; some good strength of knowledge gained for yourself."

4470 Happiness can be defined, in part at least, as the fruit of the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want *now* for what we want *eventually*.

4471 We can get over being poor, but it takes longer to get over being ignorant.

4472 Selfishness-even in the name of an injustice-lowers your self-respect and creates shame.

4473 No man or woman of the humblest sort can really be strong, gentle and good, without the world being better for it, without somebody being helped and comforted by the very existence of that goodness.

4474 You miss 100% of the shots you never take.

4475 99.99997% of the world doesn't work under contract.

4476 You have 23 odds and ends on a table and one falls off. Is it an odd or an end?

4477 Are you kidding me? Hypnotized By Food could be my Indian name.

4478 That was yesterday. What are you gonna write today?

4479 At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.

4480 While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.

4481 The way we see the problem is the problem.

4482 Sharp acids corrode their own containers.

4483 Not in his goals but in his transitions is man great.

4484 No task's too steep for human wit.

4485 The sweetest of all sounds is praise.

4486 Brain cells create ideas. Stress kills brain cells. Stress is not a good idea.

4487 When you are in a hole, stop digging.

4488 My life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part is I'm driving a used car.

4489 The issue isn't whether you're paranoid, It's whether you're paranoid enough.

4490 My name is Nick. My father thought of it shaving.

4491 "Of course we can still be friends, just don't call me."

4492 If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

4493 I kept the right ones out and let the wrong ones in.

4494 Whatever you do, take care of your shoes.

4495 Besides learning to see, there is another art to be learned-not to see what is not.

4496 All the water in the world cannot drown you -- unless it gets inside.

4497 I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have-life itself.

4498 Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.

4499 The worst thing that can happen to you as an enthusiastic adult is that you could appear foolish to people who need to criticize. Let me assure you--enthusiasm is worth this risk. If you allow yourself to be enthusiastic, you'll be so full of wonder, you won't care what people think.

4500 Do not hurt your neighbor, for it is not him you wrong but yourself.

4501
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

4502
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, "Hire yew?"

4503
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

4504
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

4505
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

4506
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

4507
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank a'll have a bare."

4508
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

4509
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"

4510
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

4511
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

4512
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

4513
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

4514
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

4515
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

4516
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

4517
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

4518
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

4519
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn country."

4520
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He can't breathe...give 'im some ear!"

4521
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

4522
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

4523
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah..haze ignert. He ain't thanked in yars."

4524
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

4525
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

4526
Excerpt from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.

4527
Find something you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life.

4528
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

4529
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

4530
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

4531
Why is a boxing ring square?

4532
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

4533
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

4534
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

4535
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

4536
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

4537
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

4538
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

4539
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

4540
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

4541
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

4542
"Don't put cheese in a toaster."

4543
"Truth is the enemy. Some people deserve the truth."

4544
"It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean."

4545
"When we face what we're afraid of we find out what were made of"

4546
We wouldn't be called humans if we never made a mistake."

4547
"Don't go for it..usually won't get it".

4548
Carpe Diem ~ Seize the Day.

4549
"Shoot for the Moon. Even if you miss, you will land among the stars."

4550
"We too often love things and use people when, we should be loving people and using things."

4551
"A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd."

4552
"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face."

4553
"Vision is the world's most desperate need. There are no hopeless situations, only people who think hopelessly."

4554
We know what we are, but we know not what we may be!

4555
Smile...it makes people wonder what you're up to!

4556
Bad things happen to punish us for our reaction to those bad things.

4557
Satan hasn't one salaried helper, the position employes a million.

4558
A halo only has to fall a few inches to become a noose.

4559
"Bert your paper clip is more beautiful than any flower in all the world, because it is harder to find beauty in a paper clip"

4560
"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"

4561
Love looketh not with the eyes but with the heart.

4562
There are no victims, just volunteers.

4563
I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I'm out to get me.

4564
If your mind is in the gutter, your rent is due. I own the gutter.

4565
"This life has been a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received instructions on where to go and what to do."

4566
Q: Why did the lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.

4567
The easiest part of a diet is the second day. By then you've gone off it.

4568
You know you're drinking too much coffee when you sneeze and your eyes stay open.

4569
The strongest force in the universe is whatever that is that holds your Christmas lights in a tangled knot.

4570
Christmas is just about the only time in an entire year when many of us will sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy from right out of a sock.

4571
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

4572
Don't Blame Me - I voted for Gore... I Think

4573
www.presidentelect.com Error 404- File "Florida Electoral Votes" not found. Please check the URL of the website.

4574
Who punched the chads out? Whoo Whoo Whoo!

4575
Ralph Happens

4576
If God Meant Us to Vote, He Would Have Given Us Candidates

4577
Honk If You Love Al Gore! (use the button on your steering wheel)

4578
My 2nd Grader is Smarter than 19,000 Florida voters!

4579
"Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything."

4580
I voted - Didn't matter

4581
I know I voted on a butterfly ballot, but how come I feel like I just ingested a pupa?

4582
Nicaragua was only practice. Florida was the real thing.

4583
I Invented the Bumper Sticker - A. Gore

4584
Chads happen.

4585
Who is this Chad guy and why is he pregnant.

4586
Let them fight to the death.

4587
Trust the Machine.

4588
Now do you understand the importance of user-testing?

4589
One person, one vote (may not apply in certain states).

4590
The election can't be broken. We just fixed it.

4591
OK, forget votes. How many guns do you have?

4592
Bradley vs. McCain: Sounds Better Now, Huh?

4593
"Spur of the moment is good if I have moments to spur.

4594
If Bill Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.

4595
Hindsight is always 20/20.

4596
It's better to be a witty fool, than a foolish wit.

4597
Nothing is good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.

4598
Turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters.

4599
"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips!"

4600
"Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!!!"

4601
I've learned...

that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

4602
I've learned...

that when you're in love, it shows.

4603
I've learned...

that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

4604
I've learned...

that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

4605
I've learned...

that being kind is more important than being right.

4606
I've learned...

that you should never say no to a gift from a child.

4607
I've learned...

that I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

4608
I've learned...

that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

4609
I've learned...

that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

4610
I've learned...

that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

4611
I've learned...

that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

4612
I've learned...

that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

4613
I've learned...

that money doesn't buy class.

4614
I've learned...

that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

4615
I've learned...

that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

4616
I've learned...

that even the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

4617
I've learned...

that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

4618
I've learned...

that love, not time, heals all wounds.

4619
I've learned...

that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

4620
I've learned...

that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

4621
I've learned...

that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

4622
I've learned...

that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

4623
I've learned...

that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

4624
I've learned...

that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

4625
I've learned...

4626
I've learned...

that when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

4627
I've learned...

that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

4628
I've learned...

that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

4629
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

4630
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

4631
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

4632
"The police are not here to create disorder. They're here to preserve disorder."

4633
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."

4634
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

4635
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."

4636
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are."

4637
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

4638
"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on but they take them off."
...Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers

4639
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe"

4640
"The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."

4641
"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."

4642
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jack ass and I'm just the one to do it."

4643
"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."

4644
"Ever since I was a kid, I've always been a real deep thinker and stuff."

4645
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4646
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

4647
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4648
On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4649
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4650
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

4651
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

4652
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

4653
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

4654
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

4655
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.

4656
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

4657
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

4658
Honk if you love peace and quiet.

4659
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

4660
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

4661
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

4662
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

4663
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

4664
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

4665
You can't have everything, where would you put it?

4666
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

4667
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

4668
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

4669
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

4670
EI wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
Corollary: The buck doesn't even slow down here.

4671
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

4672
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4673
Bumper sticker: The buck doesn't even slow down here.

4674
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

The bandage was wound around the wound.

4675
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

The farm was used to produce produce.

4676
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4677
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

We must polish the Polish furniture.

4678
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

4679
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

4680
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

4681
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

4682
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

4683
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

I did not object to the object.

4684
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

4685
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

They were too close to the door to close it.

4686
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

4687
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

4688
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

4689
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

4690
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

4691
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

4692
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

4693
One of the reasons the English language is hard to learn:

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

4694
Daddy does not have a BEER GUT, He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

4695
Daddy is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

4696
Daddy does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He investigates ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4697
Daddy is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

4698
Daddy was not a CRADLE ROBBER He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

4699
Daddy does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

4700
Daddy does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

4701
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Most blues begin "woke up this morning."

4702
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

"I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line. I got a good woman -- with the meanest dog in town.

4703
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of like...
Got a good woman with the meanest dog in town.
He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and he weighs `bout 500 pounds.

4704
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

The blues are not about limitless choice.

4705
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Blues cars are Chevies and Cadillacs. Other acceptable blues transportation is Greyhound bus or a southbound train.Walkkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle.
So does fixin' to die.

4706
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Teenagers can't sing the blues. Adults sing the blues. Blues adulthood means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

4707
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

You can have the blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota are just a depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the blues.

4708
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

The following colors do not belong in the blues:
a. violet
b. beige
c. mauve

4709
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

You can't have the blues in an office or a shopping mall.
The lighting is wrong.

4710
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Good places for the Blues:
a. the highway
b. the jailhouse
c. the empty bed

4711
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

No one will believe it's the blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old black man.

4712
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Do you have the right to sing the blues? Yes if:
a. your first name is a southern state--like Georgia
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis.
d. you can't be satisfied.

4713
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Do you have the right to sing the blues?
No, if:
a. you were once blind but now can see.
b. you're deaf
c. you have a trust fund.

4714
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Neither Julio Iglesias nor Barbra Streisand can sing the blues.

4715
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

If you ask for water and baby gives you gasoline, it's the blues.

4716
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Blues beverages are:
a. wine
b. Irish whiskey
c. muddy water

4717
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

Blues beverages are NOT:
a. Any mixed drink
b. Any wine kosher for Passover
c. Yoo Hoo (all flavors)

4718
HOW TO SING THE BLUES...

It is not a blues death if you die during a liposuction treatment.

4719
Things I wish I'd known before I went out into the real world...

I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?

4720
Things I wish I'd known before I went out into the real world...

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

4721
Have you ever noticed when you blow in a dog's face it usually gets annoyed, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

4722
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

4723
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

4724
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

4725
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

4726
The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.

4727
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

4728
Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.

4729
The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.

4730
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

4731
A permanent set of teeth consist of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.

4732
The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

4733
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

4734
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

4735
Liter: A nest of young puppies.

4736
Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

4737
Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

4738
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

4739
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

4740
Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.

4741
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

4742
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

4743
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

4744
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

4745
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

4746
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

4747
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

4748
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week!

4749
I intend to live forever so far, so good.

4750
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

4751
Mind Like A Steel Trap Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.

4752
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

4753
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

4754
EWhen everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

4755
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

4756
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

4757
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

4758
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

4759
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

4760
OK, so what's the speed of dark?

4761
Black holes are where God divided by zero.

4762
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

4763
EWhen I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.

4764
When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child... eventually.

4765
I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in awhile I turn it on and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said, "Cut it out!"

4766
I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.

4767
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly) ...and says, "Here, you can go."

4768
I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

4769
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.

4770
Daddy is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

4771
Daddy is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

4772
Daddy is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

4773
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy.

4774
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.

4775
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

Wearing white is always appropriate.

4776
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

Winter is the best of the four seasons.

4777
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.

4778
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

There's nothing better than a foul weather friend.

4779
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.

4780
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

It's not the size of the carrot, but the placement that counts.

4781
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

We're all made up of mostly water.

4782
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

You know you've made it when they write a song about you.

4783
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!

4784
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

Avoid yellow snow. Don't get too much sun.

4785
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

It's embarrassing when you can't look down and see your feet.

4786
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

It's fun to hang out in your front yard.

4787
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

Always put your best foot forward.

4788
All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman...

There's no stopping you once you're on a roll.

4789
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

A person needs only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

4790
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you" though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.

4791
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on-stage singing, some are in the audience as critics, some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

4792
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

4793
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

4794
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

4795
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

Good sex should involve laughter. Because it's, you know, funny.

4796
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only the other person.

4797
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

4798
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right".

4799
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

4800
THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

If he says that you are too good for him-believe it.

4801
Can one be a closet claustrophobic?