|
3001
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 3: I will get dressed before noon.-- Unknown
3002
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 4: I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.-- Unknown
3003
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 5: I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.-- Unknown
3004
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 6: I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.-- Unknown
3005
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 7: I will read a book...if I still remember how.-- Unknown
3006
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 8: I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.-- Unknown
3007
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 9: I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.-- Unknown
3008
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 10: I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.-- Unknown
3009
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 11: I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.-- Unknown
3010
12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web AddictsStep 12: Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime...and the Web will always be there tomorrow!-- Unknown
3011
A Thought For Today...A bird in hand is better than one overhead.-- Unknown
3012
The worst flaw in a leader is ego. -- The History Channel
3013
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. -- A commercial
3014
A smile is a facelift that's in everyone's price range!!. -- From a Ziggy comic
3015
How did you remember stuff before there were refrigerator magnets. -- From a Dennis the Menace comic
3016
You know it's going to be a bad day when...You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren't any.-- Unknown
3017
You know it's going to be a bad day when...You turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.-- Unknown
3018
You know it's going to be a bad day when...The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your wife.-- Unknown
3019
You know it's going to be a bad day when...You wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then you realize that you don't have a water bed.-- Unknown
3020
You know it's going to be a bad day when...Your horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.-- Unknown
3021
You know it's going to be a bad day when...Your doctor tells you, "Well, I have bad news and good news...".-- Unknown
3022
You know it's going to be a bad day when...You open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads: "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!".-- Unknown
3023
You know it's going to be a bad day when...Your ex-lover calls and tells you he has 6 days to live, and that you'd better get the Test.-- Unknown
3024
You know it's going to be a bad day when...You wake up at work naked in front of your co-workers.-- Unknown
3025
You know it's going to be a bad day when...When someone accuses you of faking humor.-- Unknown
3026
You know it's going to be a bad day when...Your lover tells you, "I'm sub-letting another apartment and the movers are here to move me."-- Unknown
3027
You know it's going to be a bad day when...You have an appointment in 10 minutes and you just woke up.-- Unknown
3028
You know it's going to be a bad day when...You need your chocoholic fix and the government just banned chocolate!.-- Unknown
3029
You know it's going to be a bad day when...You have to pay a toll machine 75 cents and all you have is a dime and a 20 dollar bill.-- Unknown
3030
You might be an internet geek if...When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3031
You might be an internet geek if...You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is, "Hi, what's your URL?".-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3032
You might be an internet geek if...Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3033
You might be an internet geek if...You're amazed to find out Spam is a food.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3034
You might be an internet geek if...You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3035
You might be an internet geek if...You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3036
You might be an internet geek if...You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications.".-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3037
You might be an internet geek if...At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server."-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3038
You might be an internet geek if...After winning the office Super Bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so Colon-Right-Parentheses!"-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3039
You might be an internet geek if...Two words: "Pizza's here."-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/internetgeek.htm
3040
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and Chips.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3041
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3042
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3043
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Paul's Letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3044
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3045
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather Finals.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3046
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3047
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a Freshman.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3048
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3049
One of ten Ways that the Bible would be different if written by College Students...Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed. -- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/bible.htm
3050
Important Rules of Writing...Just between you and I case is important.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3051
Important Rules of Writing...Verbs has to agree with their subjects.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3052
Important Rules of Writing...Watch out for irregular verbs which have crope into our language.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3053
Important Rules of Writing...Don't use no double negatives.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3054
Important Rules of Writing...Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3055
Important Rules of Writing...A writer mustn't shift your point of view.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3056
Important Rules of Writing...When dangling, don't use participles.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3057
Important Rules of Writing...Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3058
Important Rules of Writing...Don't write a run-on sentence you have to punctuate it.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3059
Important Rules of Writing...About sentence fragments.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3060
Important Rules of Writing...In a letter themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3061
Important Rules of Writing...Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3062
Important Rules of Writing...Its very important that you use apostrophe's right.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3063
Important Rules of Writing...Don't abbrev.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3064
Important Rules of Writing...Check to see if you have any words out.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3065
Important Rules of Writing...As far as incomplete constructions, they are wrong.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3066
Important Rules of Writing...Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3067
Important Rules of Writing...It is important to never ever under any circumstances split an infinitive.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3068
Important Rules of Writing...Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3069
Important Rules of Writing...Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3070
Important Rules of Writing...Eschew obfuscation.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3071
Important Rules of Writing...Use of the passive voice is to be avoided.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3072
Important Rules of Writing...The active voice is preferred.-- Unknown from http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/rules.htm
3073
Thought for Today:Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.-- Unknown
3074
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.-- Unknown
3075
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.-- Unknown
3076
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.-- Unknown
3077
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.-- Unknown
3078
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...You can't trust dogs to watch your food.-- Unknown
3079
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.-- Unknown
3080
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.-- Unknown
3081
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic-tac.-- Unknown
3082
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.-- Unknown
3083
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...School lunches stick to the wall.-- Unknown
3084
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.-- Unknown
3085
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.-- Unknown
3086
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED...The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.-- Unknown
3087
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.-- Unknown
3088
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.-- Unknown
3089
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, somebody in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.-- Unknown
3090
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.-- Unknown
3091
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.-- Unknown
3092
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.-- Unknown
3093
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.-- Unknown
3094
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.-- Unknown
3095
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.-- Unknown
3096
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.-- Unknown
3097
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED...If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.-- Unknown
3098
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.-- Unknown
3099
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. -- Unknown
3100
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.-- Unknown
To top of page
3101
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.-- Unknown
3102
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.-- Unknown
3103
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.-- Unknown
3104
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.-- Unknown
3105
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.-- Unknown
3106
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.-- Unknown
3107
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.-- Unknown
3108
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.-- Unknown
3109
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.-- Unknown
3110
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.-- Unknown
3111
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night. -- Unknown
3112
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.-- Unknown
3113
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.-- Unknown
3114
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.-- Unknown
3115
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.-- Unknown
3116
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.-- Unknown
3117
Bad Excuses http://www.cnw.com/~munsey/ariel/excuses2.htm ...Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah(*crossed out*), diahoah(*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits.-- Unknown
3118
Proverbs completed by first graders...As you shall make your bed so shall you... mess it up.-- Unknown
3119
Proverbs completed by first graders...Better be safe than... punch a 5th grader.-- Unknown
3120
Proverbs completed by first graders...Strike while the... bug is close.-- Unknown
3121
Proverbs completed by first graders...It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.-- Unknown
3122
Proverbs completed by first graders...You can lead a horse to water but... how?-- Unknown
3123
Proverbs completed by first graders...Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.-- Unknown
3124
Proverbs completed by first graders...A miss is as good as a... Mr.-- Unknown
3125
Proverbs completed by first graders...You can't teach an old dog new... math.-- Unknown
3126
Proverbs completed by first graders...If you lie down with the dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.-- Unknown
3127
Proverbs completed by first graders...The pen is mightier than the... pigs.-- Unknown
3128
Proverbs completed by first graders...An idle mind is... the best way to relax.-- Unknown
3129
Proverbs completed by first graders...Where there's smoke, there's... pollution.-- Unknown
3130
Proverbs completed by first graders...Happy the bride who... gets all the presents.-- Unknown
3131
Proverbs completed by first graders...A penny saved is... not much.-- Unknown
3132
Proverbs completed by first graders...Two's company, three's... the musketeers.-- Unknown
3133
Proverbs completed by first graders...Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.-- Unknown
3134
Proverbs completed by first graders...Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.-- Unknown
3135
Proverbs completed by first graders...When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.-- Unknown
3136
"Time's fun when you're having flies." -- Kermit the Frog
3137
The Lord's Prayer is 66 words.
The Gettysburg Address is 286 words.
There are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence.
But, government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words. -- From an article on the growth of federal regulations
3138
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
No lines at the Super Walmart. -- Unknown
3139
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
A special glance. -- Unknown
3140
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
Getting E-mail. -- Unknown
3141
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
Taking a drive on a pretty road. -- Unknown
3142
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
Hearing your favorite song on the radio. -- Unknown
3143
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. -- Unknown
3144
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
Hot towels out of the dryer. -- Unknown
3145
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price. -- Unknown
3146
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
Chocolate milkshake. -- Unknown
3147
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE...
A long distance phone call. -- Unknown
3148
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. -- Truman Capote
3149
The words "figure" and "fictitious" both derive from the same Latin root "fingere". Beware! -- M.J. Moroney
3150
If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome; if you believe the theologians, nothing is innocent; if you believe the military, nothing is safe. -- Lord Salisbury
3151
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. -- Woody Allen
3152
Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it. -- Tallulah Bankhead
3153
There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and posthumously. -- Thomas Sowell
3154
Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four. -- Katharine Hepburn
3155
Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. -- W. Somerset Maugham
3156
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. -- Wilson Mizner
3157
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. -- Sam Levenson
3158
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things. -- Jilly Cooper
3159
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. -- Bill Cosby
3160
Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly. -- Simeon Strunsky
3161
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. -- Tom Lehrer
3162
He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts. -- Richard Brinsley Sheriday
3163
You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. -- John J. Plomp
3164
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. -- Mark Twain
3165
The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in determination. -- Tommy Lasorda
3166
Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. -- Ambrose Bierce
3167
Men must be decided on what they will not do, and then they are able to act with vigor in what they ought to do. -- Mencius
3168
There is no other way of guarding oneself against flattery than by letting men understand that they will not offend you by speaking the truth; but when everyone can tell you the truth, you lose their respect. -- Niccolo Machiavelli
3169
Leave no stone unturned. -- Heraclidae, circa 428 B.C.
3170
You cannot have a proud and chivalrous spirit if your conduct is mean and paltry; for whatever a man's actions are, such must be his spirit. -- Demosthenes
3171
In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from. -- Peter F. Drucker
3172
One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. -- Oscar Wilde
3173
Last week, I went to Philidelphia, but it was closed. -- W. C. Fields
3174
From actual classified ads...Free Yorkshire Terrier.
8 years old. Hateful little dog.-- Unknown
3175
From actual classified ads...Free puppies:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel
1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog -- Unknown
3176
From actual classified ads...Free puppies... part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.-- Unknown
3177
From actual classified ads...Found: dirty white dog.
Looks like a rat...
Been out awhile.
Better be reward.-- Unknown
3178
From actual classified ads...1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer-- Unknown
3179
From actual classified ads...Snow blower for sale... only used on snowy days.-- Unknown
3180
From actual classified ads...2 wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15-- Unknown
3181
From actual classified ads...Tickle me Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, auto.
Excellent condition $6800 -- Unknown
3182
From actual classified ads...Cows for sale. Never bred calves.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.-- Unknown
3183
From actual classified ads...Full sized mattress. 20 yr. warranty.
Like new. Slight urine smell.-- Unknown
3184
From actual classified ads...Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby-- Unknown
3185
From actual classified ads...Bill's septic cleaning.
"We haul american made products."-- Unknown
3186
From actual classified ads...Hummels - largest selection ever.
"If it's in stock, we have it!"-- Unknown
3187
From actual classified ads...Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club.-- Unknown
3188
From actual classified ads...Georgia peaches.
California grown - 89 cents lb. -- Unknown
3189
From actual classified ads...Nice parachute:
Never opened - used once.-- Unknown
3190
From actual classified ads...Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour?
We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.
Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour. -- Unknown
3191
From actual classified ads...Exercise equipment:
Queen size mattress & box springs - $175.-- Unknown
3192
From actual classified ads...Our sofa will seat the whole mob.-- Unknown
3193
From actual classified ads...Joining nudist colony!
Selling washer & dryer $300.-- Unknown
3194
From actual classified ads...Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember.-- Unknown
3195
From actual classified ads...Open house:
Body Shapers Toning Salon
Free coffee & donuts.-- Unknown
3196
From actual classified ads...For Sale By Owner
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes. Excellent condition.
$1,000.00 negotiable.
No longer needed. Recently married; Wife knows everything. -- Unknown
3197
Things I wish I'd known before I went out into the real world...If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!-- Unknown
3198
Thought for Today:The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.-- Unknown
3199
Thought for Today:Police officer dies after being trapped in empty doughnut warehouse 16 days!-- Unknown
3200
Thought for Today:"We'll drive off that bridge when we come to it." - T.Kennedy-- Unknown
To top of page
3201
Go do what's right. -- Dr. Laura
3202
Singers come and go; poets last forever. -- Merle Haggard
3203
From actual classified ads...Free Yorkshire Terrier.
8 years old. Hateful little dog. -- Unknown
3204
From actual classified ads...Free puppies:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel
1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog -- Unknown
3205
From actual classified ads...Free puppies... part German Shepherd, part stupid dog. -- Unknown
3206
From actual classified ads...Found: dirty white dog.
Looks like a rat...
Been out awhile.
Better be reward. -- Unknown
3207
From actual classified ads...1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer -- Unknown
3208
From actual classified ads...Snow blower for sale... only used on snowy days. -- Unknown
3209
From actual classified ads...2 wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15 -- Unknown
3210
From actual classified ads...Tickle me Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, auto.
Excellent condition $6800 -- Unknown
3211
From actual classified ads...Cows for sale. Never bred calves.
Also 1 gay bull for sale. -- Unknown
3212
From actual classified ads...Full sized mattress. 20 yr. warranty.
Like new. Slight urine smell. -- Unknown
3213
From actual classified ads...Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby -- Unknown
3214
From actual classified ads...Bill's septic cleaning.
"We haul american made products." -- Unknown
3215
From actual classified ads...Hummels - largest selection ever.
"If it's in stock, we have it!" -- Unknown
3216
From actual classified ads...Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club. -- Unknown
3217
From actual classified ads...Georgia peaches.
California grown - 89 cents lb. -- Unknown
3218
From actual classified ads...Nice parachute:
Never opened - used once. -- Unknown
3219
From actual classified ads...Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour?
We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.
Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour. -- Unknown
3220
From actual classified ads...Exercise equipment:
Queen size mattress & box springs - $175. -- Unknown
3221
From actual classified ads...Our sofa will seat the whole mob.
100% Italian leather. -- Unknown
3222
From actual classified ads...Joining nudist colony!
Selling washer & dryer $300. -- Unknown
3223
From actual classified ads...Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember. -- Unknown
3224
From actual classified ads...Open house:
Body Shapers Toning Salon
Free coffee & donuts. -- Unknown
3225
From actual classified ads...For Sale By Owner
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes. Excellent condition.
$1,000.00 negotiable.
No longer needed. Recently married; Wife knows everything. -- Unknown
3226
Things I wish I'd known before I went out into the real world....Living well really is the best revenge. -- Unknown
3227
Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs. -- Eugene Field
3228
A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary. -- Dorothy Fisher
3229
My father was often angry when I was most often like him. -- Harriet Hellman
3230
Children need models more than they need critics. -- Joseph Joubert
3231
Love is a chain whereby to bind a child to his parents. -- Abraham Lincoln
3232
In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play. -- Friedrich Nietzsche
3233
You should have thought of all this before you were born. -- N. F. Simpson
3234
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. -- Aesop
3235
The kindest word of all is the unkind one never spoken. -- Anonymous
3236
Deal as gently with the faults of others as you do your own. -- Anonymous
3237
They said the baby looked like me. Then they turned him rightside up. -- Anonymous
3238
We are the people our mothers warned us about. -- Anonymous
3239
Some families can trace their ancestors back three hundred years, but can't tell you where their children were last night. -- Anonymous
3240
There is only one way to guide a child down the right path, and that is to go that way yourself. -- Anonymous
3241
The best thing you can give your children, next to good values, are good memories. -- Anonymous
3242
Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. -- Anonymous
3243
If I had known how much fun grandchildren are, I would have had them first. -- Anonymous
3244
Grandmothers are antique little girls. -- Anonymous
3245
Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad. -- Anonymous
3246
A child is nature's way of giving the world another chance. -- Anonymous
3247
God couldn't be everywhere, and so He created mothers. -- Anonymous
3248
Houses are but walls and beams;
Homes are built of love and dreams. -- Anonymous
3249
Houses are built of wood and stone, but only love can make a home. -- Anonymous
3250
A joy shared is a joy made double. -- Anonymous
3251
The best inheritance we can give our children is a few minutes of our time each day. -- Battista
3252
Genius is childhood recaptured. -- Baudelaire
3253
Education is not received. It is achieved. -- Anonymous
3254
A college education never hurt anybody who was willing to learn after he got it. -- Anonymous
3255
Teachers have class. -- Anonymous
3256
Teaching is a work of heart. -- Anonymous
3257
A school is a building with four walls, and tomorrow inside. -- Anonymous
3258
A teacher is someone who takes your hand, opens your mind, and touches your heart. -- Anonymous
3259
Many can teach; only a special few can reach. -- Anonymous
3260
Learning is a treasure which accompanies its owner everywhere. -- Anonymous
3261
Age withers only the outside. -- Anonymous
3262
Seeing much, suffering much and studying much, are the three pillars of learning. -- Anonymous
3263
Middle age: When a narrow waist and a broad mind exchange places. -- Anonymous
3264
Nothing is free, not even age. Age is the fee God charges for life. -- Anonymous
3265
If you weren't my daughter, you'd still be my best friend. -- Anonymous
3266
It takes a long time to grow and old friend. -- Anonymous
3267
To the person who siezes two things, one always slips from his grasp! -- Anonymous
3268
Conversions Made Easy...Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi -- Unknown
3269
Conversions Made Easy...2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton -- Unknown
3270
Conversions Made Easy...1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope -- Unknown
3271
Conversions Made Easy...Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond -- Unknown
3272
Conversions Made Easy...Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram -- Unknown
3273
Conversions Made Easy...Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong -- Unknown
3274
Conversions Made Easy...365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year -- Unknown
3275
Conversions Made Easy...16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling -- Unknown
3276
Conversions Made Easy...Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon -- Unknown
3277
Conversions Made Easy...1,000,000 aches: 1 megahurtz -- Unknown
3278
Conversions Made Easy...Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower -- Unknown
3279
Conversions Made Easy...Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment) -- Unknown
3280
Conversions Made Easy...453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake -- Unknown
3281
Conversions Made Easy...1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone -- Unknown
3282
Conversions Made Easy...1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles -- Unknown
3283
Conversions Made Easy...365.25 days: 1 unicycle -- Unknown
3284
Conversions Made Easy...2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....) -- Unknown
3285
Conversions Made Easy...10 cards: 1 decacards -- Unknown
3286
Conversions Made Easy...1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton -- Unknown
3287
Conversions Made Easy...1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen -- Unknown
3288
Conversions Made Easy...1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche -- Unknown
3289
Conversions Made Easy...1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin -- Unknown
3290
Conversions Made Easy...10 rations: 1 decoration -- Unknown
3291
Conversions Made Easy...100 rations: 1 C-ration -- Unknown
3292
Conversions Made Easy...2 monograms: 1 diagram -- Unknown
3293
Conversions Made Easy...8 nickels: 2 paradigms -- Unknown
3294
Conversions Made Easy...100 Senators: Not 1 decision -- Unknown
3295
Conversions Made Easy...University Hospital: 1 I.V. League -- Unknown
3296
I shut my eyes in order to see. -- Paul Gauguin
3297
All the sounds of the earth are like music. -- Oscar Hammerstein
3298
An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail. -- Edwin Land
3299
Poets are born, not made. -- Proverb
3300
There will never be another Camelot. -- Jackie Kennedy Onassis
To top of page
3301
In creating, the only hard thing's to begin; A grass blade's no easier to make than an oak. -- James Russel Lowell
3302
Art is the difference between seeing and just identifying. -- Jean Mary Norman
3303
There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. -- Pablo Picasso
3304
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end. -- Igor Stravinsky
3305
How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live. -- Henry David Thoreau
3306
Things I wish I'd known before going out into the real world...Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you. -- Unknown
3307
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. -- Mark Twain
3308
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me. It is the parts that I do understand. -- Unknown
3309
Beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder. -- General Lew Wallace
3310
When a man has a birthday he takes a day off, but when a woman has a birthday she takes a year off. -- Anonymous
3311
The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. -- Chinese proverb
3312
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred years of sorrow. -- Chinese Proverb
3313
When the way comes to an end, then change...having changed, you pass through. -- I. Ching
3314
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. -- Indira Gandhi
3315
All experience is an arch, to build upon. -- Henry Brooks Adams
3316
A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops. -- Henry B. Adams
3317
Knowlege is power. -- Francis Bacon
3318
Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. -- Chinese Proverb
3319
Creativity is more important than knowledge. -- Albert Einstein
3320
Wonder rather than doubt is the root of knowledge. -- Abraham Joshua Heschel
3321
A child's education should begin at least one hundred years before he is born. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
3322
If you educate a man you educate a person, but if you educate a woman you educate a family. -- Ruby Manikan
3323
What we learn with pleasure we never forget. -- Alfred Mercier
3324
You're never too old to learn. -- Proverb
3325
A little learning is a dangerous thing. -- Proverb
3326
Success covers a multitude of blunders. -- George Bernard Shaw
3327
Character is a victory, not a gift. -- Unknown
3328
When all is said and done make sure you have made a difference. -- Donna Miller
3329
The greatest weakness of all, is the fear of appearing weak. -- Bossuet
3330
Killing time is not murder, it's suicide. -- Unknown
3331
What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are. -- Alanis Morisette
3332
Alone in the darkness will cause your eyes to be more sensitive to the light. -- Unknown
3333
Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. -- Rumi
3334
Men are like stars ... theres a million of them out there, but only one will make your dreams come true. -- Skittles
3335
When I met you I liked you, when I liked you I kissed you, when I kissed you I loved you, when I loved you I lost you. -- Skittles
3336
When one walks the lonely path a friend may be the only saving force of his soul. -- Unknown
3337
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every waking minute of it. -- Unknown
3338
In the beginning, the universe was created. This is generally regarded as a bad move.. -- Douglas Adams
3339
There are winners and losers in this world. Winners win because they try to win. Losers lose because they try to stop losing. Work it out?!. -- Unknown
3340
Poor man wants to be rich, rich man wants to be king and the king isn't satisfied until he rules everything. -- Unknown
3341
You can't manage creativity, all you can do is give it a place to work. -- Unknown
3342
I plan to live forever or die trying. -- Unknown
3343
I'd rather be right than politically correct. -- Unknown
3344
Spelling mistakes are left in for people who need to correct others to make the life fulfilled. -- Unknown
3345
If I'm so stupid, why aren't I rich? -- Unknown
3346
"My middle name is Luck," said Rincewind. "Unfortunately, my first name is Bad..."! -- Terry Pratchett, Discworld novels
3347
Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful that it happens in that order. -- Unknown
3348
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. -- Unknown
3349
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.... -- Unknown
3350
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. -- Unknown
3351
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.... -- Unknown
3352
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone. -- Unknown
3353
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. -- Unknown
3354
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. -- Unknown
3355
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. -- Unknown
3356
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. -- Unknown
3357
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. -- Unknown
3358
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. -- Unknown
3359
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? -- Unknown
3360
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. -- Unknown
3361
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. -- Unknown
3362
Don't be so open-minded your brains will fall out. -- Unknown
3363
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished! -- Unknown
3364
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way. -- Unknown
3365
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? -- Unknown
3366
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me. -- Unknown
3367
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. -- Unknown
3368
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you. -- Unknown
3369
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. -- Unknown
3370
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply. -- Unknown
3371
Budget: A method for going broke methodically. -- Unknown
3372
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it. -- Unknown
3373
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. -- Unknown
3374
Dain bramaged. -- Unknown
3375
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull. -- Unknown
3376
Bumper stickers...Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi fired from a car window. -- Unknown
3377
Bumper stickers...If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling. -- Unknown
3378
Bumper stickers...If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. -- Unknown
3379
Bumper stickers...Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition. -- Unknown
3380
Bumper stickers...How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost? -- Unknown
3381
Bumper stickers...The Earth Is Full -- Go Home. -- Unknown
3382
Bumper stickers...I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha. -- Unknown
3383
Bumper stickers...This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me. -- Unknown
3384
Bumper stickers...So Many Pedestrians -- So Little Time. -- Unknown
3385
Bumper stickers...Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. -- Unknown
3386
Bumper stickers...If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut? -- Unknown
3387
Bumper stickers...Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel. -- Unknown
3388
Bumper stickers...Cat: The Other White Meat. -- Unknown
3389
Bumper stickers...You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me. -- Unknown
3390
Bumper stickers...The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name. -- Unknown
3391
Bumper stickers...I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. -- Unknown
3392
Bumper stickers...It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now. -- Unknown
3393
Bumper stickers...I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere. -- Unknown
3394
Bumper stickers...Boldly Going Nowhere. -- Unknown
3395
Bumper stickers...Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch. -- Unknown
3396
Bumper stickers...If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over (seen upside down, on a Jeep). -- Unknown
3397
One liners and comebacks...Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. -- Unknown
3398
One liners and comebacks...I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. -- Unknown
3399
One liners and comebacks...I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. -- Unknown
3400
One liners and comebacks...What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? -- Unknown
To top of page
3401
Rules of Golf...1. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. -- Unknown
3402
Rules of Golf...2. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental. -- Unknown
3403
Rules of Golf...3. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three. -- Unknown
3404
Rules of Golf...4. When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again. -- Unknown
3405
Rules of Golf...5. Any change works for a maximum of three holes - - or at a minimum of not at all. -- Unknown
3406
Rules of Golf...6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse. -- Unknown
3407
Rules of Golf...7. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. -- Unknown
3408
Rules of Golf...8. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. -- Unknown
3409
Rules of Golf...9. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there. -- Unknown
3410
Rules of Golf...10. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing. -- Unknown
3411
Rules of Golf...11. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors. -- Unknown
3412
Rules of Golf...12. If it ain't broke, try changing your grip. -- Unknown
3413
Rules of Golf...13. Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie. -- Unknown
3414
Rules of Golf...14. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot. -- Unknown
3415
Rules of Golf...15. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck. -- Unknown
3416
Rules of Golf...16. It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8. -- Unknown
3417
Rules of Golf...17. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut. -- Unknown
3418
Rules of Golf...18. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts. -- Unknown
3419
Rules of Golf...19. It's not a gimme if you're still away. -- Unknown
3420
Rules of Golf...20. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree. -- Unknown
3421
Rules of Golf...21. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it. -- Unknown
3422
Rules of Golf...22. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time. -- Unknown
3423
Rules of Golf...23. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe. -- Unknown
3424
Rules of Golf...24. If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard. -- Unknown
3425
Rules of Golf...25. To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600mph. -- Unknown
3426
Rules of Golf...26. There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove. -- Unknown
3427
Rules of Golf...27. Hazards attract; fairways repel. -- Unknown
3428
Rules of Golf...28. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball. -- Unknown
3429
Rules of Golf...29. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. -- Unknown
3430
Rules of Golf...30. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. -- Unknown
3431
Rules of Golf...31. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint. -- Unknown
3432
Rules of Golf...32. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. -- Unknown
3433
If you're not a Liberal at age 20, you have no heart -- and if you're not a conservative at age 40, you have no head -- Unknown
3434
"Twenty-three is the best age (to marry) because you know the person FOREVER by then." -- Camille, age 10
3435
"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." -- Freddie, age 6
3436
Headlines...Include Your Children When Baking Cookies -- Unknown
3437
Headlines...Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say -- Unknown
3438
Headlines...Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case -- Unknown
3439
Headlines...Iraqi Head Seeks Arms -- Unknown
3440
Headlines...Miners Refuse to Work After Death -- Unknown
3441
Headlines... Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge -- Unknown
3442
Headlines...Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space -- Unknown
3443
One liners and comebacks...I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. -- Unknown
3444
One liners and comebacks...It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. -- Unknown
3445
One liners and comebacks...How about never? Is never good for you? -- Unknown
3446
One liners and comebacks...You sound reasonable.... Time to up my medication. -- Unknown
3447
One liners and comebacks...I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. -- Unknown
3448
One liners and comebacks...Who me? I just wander from room to room. -- Unknown
3449
One liners and comebacks...It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. -- Unknown
3450
One liners and comebacks...You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. -- Unknown
3451
One liners and comebacks...Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. -- Unknown
3452
One liners and comebacks...The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist, or, "a genius". -- Unknown
3453
One liners and comebacks... Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. -- Unknown
3454
One liners and comebacks...I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. -- Unknown
3455
One liners and comebacks...I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. -- Unknown
3456
One liners and comebacks...I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. -- Unknown
3457
One liners and comebacks...Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. -- Unknown
3458
One liners and comebacks...No, my powers can only be used for good. -- Unknown
3459
One liners and comebacks...I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. -- Unknown
3460
One liners and comebacks...I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. -- Unknown
3461
One liners and comebacks...I don't work here. I'm a consultant. -- Unknown
3462
One liners and comebacks...My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys! -- Unknown
3463
One liners and comebacks...At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. -- Unknown
3464
One liners and comebacks...I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. -- Unknown
3465
Blaming others can become a satisfying way of life. -- Unknown
3466
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried. -- Unknown
3467
Brain damage? No thanks, I already have some. -- Unknown
3468
Few people blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities. -- Unknown
3469
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again. -- Unknown
3470
Reality and life are not the same. -- PM Dawn
3471
Some days are made for rain. -- Aaron Neville
3472
Life's a journey not a destination. -- Aerosmith
3473
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun. -- The Beatles
3474
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. -- Oscar Wilde
3475
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head. -- Mark Twain
3476
It all begins where it ends. -- Roxette
3477
I would rather have 15 minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special. -- Steel Magnolias
3478
Everything should be as simple as possible -- but not simpler. -- Albert Einstein
3479
Life is too important to be taken seriously. -- Oscar Wilde
3480
So of cheerfulness, or a good temper... the more it is spent, the more it remains. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
3481
A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men! -- Willy Wonka
3482
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. -- Arab Proverb
3483
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush. -- English Proverb
3484
A broken hand works, but not a broken heart. -- Persian Proverb
3485
A cat has nine lives. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3486
A closed mouth catches no flies. -- Italian Proverb
3487
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs. -- German Proverb
3488
A courtyard common to all will be swept by none. -- Chinese Proverb
3489
A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master. -- Russian Proverb
3490
A drink precedes a story. -- Irish Proverb
3491
A drowning man is not troubled by rain. -- Persian Proverb
3492
A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees. -- William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
3493
A forest is in an acorn. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3494
A friend in need is a friend indeed -- English Proverb
3495
A good denial, the best point in law. -- Irish Proverb
3496
A good husband is healthy and absent. -- Japanese Proverb
3497
A hard beginning maketh a good ending. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3498
A healthy man is a successful man. -- French Proverb
3499
A hedge between keeps friendship green. -- French Proverb
3500
A friend's eye is a good mirror. -- Irish Proverb
To top of page
3501
A man does not seek his luck, luck seeks its man. -- Turkish Proverb
3502
A lock is better than suspicion. -- Irish Proverb
3503
A loan though old is not gift. -- Hungarian Proverb
3504
A little too late, is much too late. -- German Proverb
3505
A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly. -- Haitian Proverb
3506
A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity. -- Yiddish Proverb
3507
A man may well bring a horse to the water, but he cannot make him drink. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3508
A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal. -- Yiddish Proverb
3509
Voodoo acupuncture: You don't have to go. -- Unknown
3510
A hen is heavy when carried far. -- Irish Proverb
3511
A hound's food is in its legs. -- Irish Proverb
3512
A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel. -- Portuguese Proverb
3513
A hungry man is an angry man. -- English Proverb
3514
A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on. -- French Proverb
3515
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners. -- Irish Proverb
3516
A penny for your thoughts. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3517
A penny saved is a penny gained. -- Scottish Proverb
3518
A poor beauty finds more lovers than husbands. -- English Proverb
3519
A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener. -- Hungarian Proverb
3520
A rumor goes in one ear and out many mouths. -- Chinese proverb
3521
A silent mouth is melodious. -- Irish Proverb
3522
A single Russian hair outweighs half a Pole. -- Traditional Russian Saying
3523
A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. -- Greek Proverb
3524
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -- Bible - Proverbs 15:1.
3525
A son is a son till he gets him a wife,
But a daughter's a daughter the rest of your life. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3526
A spoon does not know the taste of soup, nor a learned fool the taste of wisdom. -- Welsh Proverb
3527
A table is not blessed if it has fed no scholars. -- Yiddish Proverb
3528
A teacher is better than two books. -- German Proverb
3529
A thief believes everybody steals. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3530
A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom. -- Chinese proverb
3531
A throne is only a bench covered with velvet. -- French Proverb
3532
A trade not properly learned is an enemy. -- Irish Proverb
3533
A tree falls the way it leans. -- Bulgarian Proverb
3534
A white Christmas fills the churchyard. -- French Proverb
3535
A wise man hears one word and understands two. -- Yiddish Proverb
3536
A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion. -- Chinese Proverb
3537
A worthy woman is far more precious than jewels, strength and dignity are her clothing. -- Bible - Proverbs 31
3538
Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill. -- Danish Proverb
3539
Advice should be viewed from behind. -- Swedish Proverb
3540
Advice when most needed is least heeded. -- English Proverb
3541
After shaking hands with a Greek, count your fingers. -- Albanian Saying
3542
Age is honorable and youth is noble. -- Irish Proverb
3543
All is well that ends well. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3544
All things grow with time, except grief. -- Yiddish Proverb
3545
An angry man is not fit to pray. -- Yiddish Proverb
3546
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3547
An ass in Germany is a professor in Rome. -- Traditional German Saying
3548
An enemy will agree, but a friend will argue. -- Russian Proverb
3549
An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea. -- Turkish Proverb
3550
An ox remains an ox, even if driven to Vienna. -- Hungarian Proverb
3551
And old rat is a brave rat. -- French Proverb
3552
Anger can be an expensive luxury. -- Italian Proverb
3553
Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp's nest. -- Malabar Proverb
3554
Anger without power is folly. -- German Proverb
3555
Appetite comes with eating. -- French Proverb
3556
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. -- Bible - Proverbs 26:11
3557
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. -- Bible - Proverbs 23:7
3558
As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. -- Bible - Proverbs 25:25.
3559
As mad as a March hare. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3560
As proud as a peacock. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3561
As sluttish and slatternly as an Irishwoman bred in France. -- Traditional Irish Saying
3562
As the best wine makes the sharpest vinegar, the truest lover may turn into the worst enemy. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3563
As the big hound is, so will the pup be. -- Irish Proverb
3564
As we live, so we learn. -- Yiddish Proverb
3565
Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy. -- Irish Proverb
3566
Better late than never. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3567
Beggars shouldn't be choosers. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3568
Better give a penny then lend twenty. -- Italian Proverb
3569
Better no doctor at all than three. -- Polish Proverb
3570
Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know. -- English Proverb
3571
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. -- Chinese Proverb
3572
Better wear out shoes than sheets. -- Scottish Proverb
3573
Between the devil and the deep blue sea. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3574
Beware of a silent dog and still water. -- German Proverb
3575
Black as hell, strong as death, sweet as love. (About coffee.) -- Turkish proverb
3576
Blood is thicker than water. -- English Proverb (17th Century)
3577
Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die. -- Irish Proverb
3578
Butter would not melt in her mouth. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3579
Call on God, but row away from the rocks. -- Indian Proverb
3580
Children are poor men's riches. -- English Proverb
3581
Children should be seen and not heard. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3582
Children suck the mother when they are young and the father when they are old. -- English Proverb.
3583
Choose neither a woman nor linen by candlelight. -- Italian Proverb
3584
Climb mountains to see lowlands. -- Chinese Proverb
3585
Clogs to clogs in three generations. -- English Proverb
3586
Clouds gather before a storm. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3587
Commit a sin twice and it will not seem a crime. -- Jewish Saying
3588
Curiosity killed the cat. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3589
Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse. -- Japanese Proverb
3590
Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own. -- Chinese Proverb
3591
Death always comes too early or too late. -- English Proverb
3592
Death closes all doors. -- English Proverb
3593
Death pays all debts. -- English Proverb
3594
Did hogs feed here or did Lithuanians have a feast here? -- Traditional Polish Saying
3595
Do not be born good or handsome, but be born lucky. -- Russian Proverb
3596
Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings. -- Indian Proverb
3597
Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped. -- African proverb
3598
Do not rejoice at my grief, for when mine is old, yours will be new. -- Spanish Proverb
3599
Do not speak of secrets in a field that is full of little hills. -- Hebrew Proverb
3600
Do not talk Arabic in the house of a Moor. -- Oriental Proverb
To top of page
3601
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more... it can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home..." -- Melody Beattie
3602
FLORIDA:If you think we can't vote, wait 'till you see us drive. -- Unknown
3603
FLORIDA:Home of electile dysfunction. -- Unknown
3604
FLORIDA:We count more than you do. -- Unknown
3605
FLORIDA:If you don't like the way we count, then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states. -- Unknown
3606
FLORIDA:We've been Gored by the bull of politics and we're Bushed. -- Unknown
3607
FLORIDA:Relax, Retire, ReVote. -- Unknown
3608
FLORIDA:Viagra voters do it again and again! -- Unknown
3609
FLORIDA:Where your vote counts and counts and counts. -- Unknown
610
FLORIDA:This is what you get for taking Elian away from us. -- Unknown
3611
FLORIDA:We're number one! Wait! Recount! -- Unknown
3612
Palm Beach County:So nice, we let you vote twice. -- Unknown
3613
Palm Beach County:We put the "duh" in Florida. -- Unknown
3614
Sign on I-95:Florida this way, no that way, 5 miles, wait 10 miles. -- Unknown
3615
Thought for today...What do batteries run on? -- Unknown
3616
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. -- Chinese Proverb
3617
Don't imitate the fly before you have wings. -- French Proverb
3618
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3619
Eat well, drink in moderation, and sleep sound, in these three good health abound. -- Latin Proverb
3620
Epigrams succeed where epics fail. -- Persian Proverb
3621
Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. -- Bible - Proverbs 17:28
3622
Even a small thorn causes festering. -- Irish Proverb
3623
Every ass loves to hear himself bray. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3624
Every cloud has a silver lining. -- English Proverb
3625
Every dog hath its day. -- English Proverb
3626
Every garden may have some weeds. -- English Proverb
3627
Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven. -- UYiddish proverb
3628
Everyone loves justice in the affairs of another. -- Italian Proverb
3629
Everyone pushes a falling fence. -- Chinese Proverb
3630
Evil enters like a needle and spreads like an oak tree. -- Ethiopian Proverb
3631
Evil is sooner believed than good. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3632
Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald. -- Eastern Proverb
3633
Fame is a magnifying glass. -- English Proverb
3634
Fine feathers make fine birds. -- English Proverb
3635
Feather by feather the goose can be plucked. -- French Proverb
3636
Fortune is a woman; if you neglect her today do not expect to regain her tomorrow. -- French Proverb
3637
Fortune is blind, but not invisible. -- French Proverb
3638
Flattery makes friends and truth makes enemies. -- Spanish Proverb
3639
Friends are like fiddle strings, they must not be screwed too tight. -- English Proverb
3640
Friends are lost by calling often and calling seldom. -- French Proverb
3641
Friendship is a furrow in the sand. -- Tongan Proverb
3642
Give neither counsel nor salt till you are asked for it. -- Italian Proverb
3643
Give the devil his due. -- English Proverb
3644
Glutton: one who digs his grave with his teeth. -- French Proverb
3645
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. -- Jewish Proverb
3646
God gives the nuts, but he doesn't crack them. -- German proverb
3647
God heals, and the physician takes the fee. -- French Proverb
3648
God help the rich man, let the poor man beg! -- Old English Proverb
3649
God help the rich, the poor can look after themselves. -- Old English Proverb
3650
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. -- Chinese Proverb
3651
Good advice is often annoying, bad advice never. -- French Proverb
3652
Good as drink is, it ends in thirst. -- Irish Proverb
3653
Good luck beats early rising. -- Irish Proverb
3654
Half a loaf is better than none. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3655
Haste makes waste. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3656
Have a horse of your own and then you may borrow another's. -- Welsh Proverb
3657
He is not wise that is not wise for himself. -- English Proverb
3658
He lied like an eyewitness. -- Russian Insult
3659
He makes his home where the living is best. -- Latin Proverb
3660
He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good. -- Jewish Proverb
3661
He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned. -- French Proverb (14th century)
3662
He that is rich will not be called a fool. -- Spanish Proverb
3663
He that lives on hope will die fasting. -- North American Proverb
3664
He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent. -- Bible - Proverbs 28:20.
3665
He that marries for money will earn it. -- American Proverb
3666
He that plants thorns must never expect to gather roses. -- English Proverb
3667
He that seeks trouble never misses. -- English Proverb (17th century)
3668
He that spareth his rod hateth his son. -- Bible - Proverbs 24
3669
He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them. -- Chinese proverb
3670
He who comes with a story to you brings two away from you. -- Irish Proverb
3671
He who could foresee affairs three days in advance would be rich for thousands of years. -- Chinese Proverb
3672
He who does not know one thing knows another. -- Kenyan Proverb
3673
He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday. -- Irish Proverb
3674
He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything. -- Arabian Proverb
3675
He who has once burnt his mouth always blows his soup. -- German Proverb
3676
He who holds the ladder is as bad as the thief. -- German Proverb
3677
He who knows nothing, doubts nothing. -- Spanish Proverb
3678
He who leaps high must take a long run. -- Danish Proverb
3679
He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount. -- Chinese Proverb
3680
He who serves two masters has to lie to one. -- Portuguese Proverb
3681
He who sups with the devil has need of a long spoon. -- English Proverb
3682
He who would climb the ladder must begin at the bottom. -- English Proverb
3683
He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. -- Traditional German Saying
3684
He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star. -- William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
3685
Heaven lent you a soul Earth will lend a grave. -- Chinese Proverb
3686
Honesty is the best policy. -- English Proverb
3687
How many will listen to the truth when you tell them? -- Yiddish Proverb
3688
Hygiene is two thirds of health. -- Lebanese Proverb
3689
If a man be great, even his dog will wear a proud look. -- Japanese Proverb
3690
If a man deceives me once, shame on him; if he deceives me twice, shame on me. -- Italian Proverb
3691
If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over. -- Yiddish Proverb
3692
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows. -- Jewish Proverb
3693
If rich people could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. -- Yiddish Proverb
3694
If the patient dies, the doctor has killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him. -- Italian Proverb
3695
If two men ride a horse, one must ride behind. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3696
If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people. -- Chinese Proverb
3697
If you believe everything you read, better not read. -- Japanese proverb
3698
If you bow at all bow low. -- Chinese Proverb
3699
If you do not sow in the spring you will not reap in the autumn. -- Irish Proverb
3700
If you love him, don't lend him. -- Polish Proverb
To top of page
3701
Thought for Today:I'm NOT weird, I'm morally disabled. -- Unknown
3702
Thought for Today:Jewish dilemma - Free ham. -- Unknown
3703
If you take big paces you leave big spaces. -- Burmese Proverb
3704
If you want to be criticized, marry. -- Irish Proverb
3705
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. -- Romanian Proverb
3706
If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words. -- Chinese Proverb
3707
In a calm sea every man is a pilot. -- Spanish Proverb
3708
In America half an hour is forty minutes. -- German Proverb
3709
In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse. -- Greek Proverb
3710
In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek. -- French Proverb
3711
Instinct is stronger than upbringing. -- Irish Proverb
3712
It is a bad hen that does not scratch herself. -- Irish Proverb
3713
It is a bold mouse that nestles in the cat's ear. -- English Proverb
3714
It is a long road that has no turning. -- Irish Proverb
3715
It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust nobody. -- English Proverb (18th century)
3716
It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3717
It is better to be a male for one day than a female for ten. -- Kurdish Proverb
3718
It is better to be born a beggar than a fool. -- Spanish Proverb
3719
It is better to conceal one's knowledge than to reveal one's ignorance. -- Spanish Proverb
3720
It is better to exist unknown to the law. -- Irish Proverb
3721
It is better to sit down than to stand, it is better to lie down than to sit, but death is the best of all. (About laziness) -- Indian Proverb
3722
It is hard to pay for bread that has been eaten. -- Danish Proverb
3723
It is not a secret if it is known by three people. -- Irish Proverb
3724
It is not enough to run, one must start in time. -- French Proverb
3725
It is not fish until it is on the bank. -- Irish Proverb
3726
It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats. -- Russian proverb
3727
It is sweet to drink but bitter to pay for. -- Irish Proverb
3728
It is the good horse that draws its own cart. -- Irish Proverb
3729
It is the quiet pigs that eat the meal. -- Irish Proverb
3730
It takes time to build castles. Rome wan not built in a day. -- Irish Proverb
3731
It's an ill wind that blows no good. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3732
It's not a matter of upper and lower class but of being up a while and down a while. -- Irish Proverb
3733
Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. -- Chinese Proverb
3734
Keep a thing for seven years and you'll find a use for it. -- Irish Proverb
3735
Kill not the goose that lays the golden eggs. -- English Proverb
3736
Lack of resource has hanged many a person. -- Irish Proverb
3737
Last ship, best ship. -- English Proverb
3738
Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one. -- Chinese Proverb
3739
Lend your money and lose your friend. -- English Proverb
3740
Let sleeping dogs lie. -- English Proverb
3741
Let your heart guide your head in evil matters. -- Spanish Proverb
3742
Life is a bridge. Cross over it, but build no house on it. -- Indian Proverb
3743
Life without a friend is death without a witness. -- Spanish Proverb
3744
Like a fish out of water. -- Latin Saying
3745
Like a lame man's legs that hang limp is a proverb in the mouth of a fool. -- Bible - Proverbs 26:7
3746
Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout. -- Irish Proverb
3747
Little pitchers have big ears. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3748
Live with wolves, and you learn to howl. -- Spanish Proverb
3749
Look before you leap. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3750
Look down if you would know how high you stand. -- Yiddish Proverb
3751
Love enters a man through his eyes, woman through her ears. -- Polish Proverb
3752
Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass. -- French Proverb
3753
Love me, love my dog. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3754
Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence. -- Chinese proverb
3755
Love, pain, and money cannot be kept secret; they soon betray themselves. -- Spanish Proverb
3756
Luck has a slender anchorage. -- English Proverb
3757
Mad as a march hare. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3758
Many hands make light work. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3759
Make hay while the sun shines. -- English Proverb
3760
Mankind fears an evil man but heaven does not. -- Chinese Proverb
3761
Many a friend was lost through a joke, but none was ever gained so. -- Czech Proverb
3762
May as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb. -- English Proverb
3763
May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope. -- Traditional Irish Curse
3764
May the grass grow at your door and the fox build his nest on your hearthstone. -- Traditional Irish Curse
3765
May the light fade from your eyes, so you never see what you love. -- Traditional Irish Curse
3766
May your own blood rise against you, and the sweetest drink you take be the bitterest cup of sorrow. -- Traditional Irish Curse
3767
May you die without benefit of clergy. -- Traditional Irish Curse
3768
May there be none to shed a tear at your grave, and may the hearthstone of hell be your best bed forever. -- Traditional Wexford Curse
3769
May you have a bright future - as the chimney sweep said to his son. -- Irish Proverb
3770
May you wander over the face of the earth forever, never sleep twice in the same bed, never drink water twice from the same well, and never cross the same river twice in a year. -- Traditional Gypsy Curse
3771
May your every wish be granted. -- Ancient Chinese Curse
3772
May your left ear wither and fall into your right pocket. -- Traditional Arab Curse
3773
Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. -- French Proverb
3774
Mere words do not feed the friars. -- Irish Proverb
3775
More grows in the garden than the gardener knows he has sown. -- Spanish Proverb
3776
More things belong to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3777
Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat. -- Irish Proverb
3778
Necessity is the mother of invention. -- Irish Proverb
3779
Necessity knows no law. -- Irish Proverb
3780
Necessity never made a good bargain. -- North American Proverb
3781
Need teaches a plan. -- Irish Proverb
3782
Never cut what can be untied. -- Portuguese Proverb
3783
Never love with all your heart, it only ends in breaking. -- English Proverb
3784
Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper. -- Scottish Proverb
3785
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today. -- English Proverb
3786
Night is the mother of council. -- Latin Proverb
3787
No man limps because another is hurt. -- Danish Proverb
3788
No man ought to look a given horse in the mouth. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3789
No rose without a thorn, or a love without a rival. -- Turkish Proverb
3790
No time like the present. -- English Proverb
3791
Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. -- Chinese Proverb
3792
Not wine...men intoxicate themselves; Not vice...men entice themselves -- Chinese Proverb
3793
Nothing dries sooner than tears. -- Latin Proverb
3794
Nothing is as burdensome as a secret. -- French Proverb
3795
Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3796
One beggar at the door is enough. -- French Proverb
3797
One cannot shoe a running horse. -- Dutch Proverb
3798
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. -- English Proverb (17th century)
3799
One flower will not make a garland. -- French Proverb
3800
One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade. -- Chinese Proverb
To top of page
3801
Thought For Today:LUNACY...my Best personality trait! -- Unknown
3802
The tongue like a sharp knife...Kills without drawing blood. -- Chinese Proverb
3803
One good turn deserves another. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3804
One swallow maketh not a summer. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3805
One joy scatters a hundred griefs. -- Chinese Proverb
3806
One of these days is none of these days. -- English Proverb
3807
One should go invited to a friend in good fortune, and uninvited in misfortune. -- Swedish Proverb
3808
One woman never praises another. -- Estonian Proverb
3809
Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. -- English Proverb
3810
Out of the frying pan into the fire. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3811
Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet. -- French Proverb
3812
Patience is poultice for all wounds. -- Irish Proverb
3813
Patience is the best medicine. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3814
People live in each other's shelter. -- Irish Proverb
3815
Pigs might fly, but they are most unlikely birds. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3816
Politics is a rotten egg; if broken, it stinks. -- Russian proverb
3817
Poor men seek meat for their stomach, rich men stomach for their meat. -- English Proverb
3818
Power lasts ten years; influence not more than a hundred. -- Korean Proverb
3819
Practice makes perfect. -- English Proverb
3820
Praise the young and they will blossom. -- Irish Proverb
3821
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. -- Bible - Proverbs 16:18
3822
Procrastination is the thief of time. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3823
Public before private and country before family. -- Chinese Proverb
3824
Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat. -- Irish Proverb
3825
Quiet people are well able to look after themselves. -- Irish Proverb
3826
Rags to riches to rags. -- Lancastrian Proverb
3827
Rain beats a leopard's skin, but it does not wash off the spots. -- Ashanti Proverb
3828
Rats desert a sinking ship. -- French Proverb
3829
Riches run after the rich, and poverty runs after the poor. -- French Proverb
3830
Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. -- Dutch Proverb
3831
Rome was not built in a day. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3832
Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. -- English Proverb
3833
Seek counsel of him who makes you weep, and not of him who makes you laugh. -- Arabic Proverb
3834
Set a beggar on horseback, and he 'll out ride the Devil. -- German Proverb
3835
Set a thief to catch a thief. -- English Proverb
3836
Six hours' sleep for a man, seven for a woman and eight for a fool. -- English Proverb
3837
Silence was never written down. -- Italian Proverb
3838
Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get. -- Spanish Proverb
3839
Sit a beggar at your table and he will soon put his feet on it. -- Russian Proverb
3840
Small children give you headache; big children heartache. -- Russian Proverb
3841
Some people are masters of money, and some its slaves. -- Russian Proverb
3842
Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time I am being carried on great wings across the sky. -- Ojibway Saying
3843
Sorrow for a husband is like a pain in the elbow, sharp and short. -- English Proverb
3844
Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them. -- English Proverb (17th century)
3845
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. -- Slovenian Proverb
3846
Stars are not seen by sunshine. -- Spanish Proverb
3847
Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. -- Bible - Proverbs 9:17
3848
Sweet is the wine but sour is the payment. -- Irish Proverb
3849
Take heed of enemies reconciled, and of meat twice boiled. -- English Proverb.
3850
Take thy thoughts to bed with thee, for the morning is wiser than the evening. -- Russian Proverb
3851
Talk of the devil and he is sure to appear. -- English Proverb
3852
Tell me who you live with and I will tell you who you are. -- Spanish Proverb
3853
Tell the truth and shame the devil. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3854
The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. -- Chinese Proverb
3855
The best advice is found on the pillow. -- Danish Proverb
3856
The best thing about a man is his dog. -- French Proverb
3857
The big thieves hang the little ones. -- Czech proverb
3858
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully. -- Russian proverb
3859
The comforter's head never aches. -- Italian Proverb
3860
The darkest hour is that before the dawn. -- English Proverb
3861
The day will come when the cow will have use for her tail. -- Irish Proverb
3862
The devil looks after his own. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3863
The devil seduced Eve in Italian. Eve mislead Adam in Bohemian. The Lord scolded them both in German. Then the angel drove them from paradise in Hungarian. -- Traditional Polish Saying
3864
The fat is in the fire. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3865
The green new broom sweepeth clean. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3866
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. -- Chinese Proverb
3867
The girl who can't dance says the band can't play. -- Yiddish Proverb
3868
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3869
The great thieves lead away the little thieves. -- French Proverb
3870
The hole is more honorable than the patch. -- Irish Proverb
3871
The hours of folly are measured by the clock, but of wisdom no clock can measure. -- William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
3872
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. -- Yiddish Proverb
3873
The jay bird don't rob his own nest. -- West Indies Proverb
3874
The light heart lives long. -- Irish Proverb
3875
The man who does not love a horse cannot love a woman. -- Spanish Proverb
3876
The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. -- Chinese Proverb
3877
The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot. -- Irish Proverb
3878
The mills of God grind slowly but they grind finely. -- Irish Proverb
3879
The moon is made of a green cheese. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3880
The more the merrier. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3881
The morning is wiser than the evening. -- Russian Proverb
3882
The nail that sticks up will be hammered down. -- Japanese Proverb
3883
The night rinses what the day has soaped. -- Swiss Proverb
3884
The only good thing that comes from the east is the sun. -- Traditional Portuguese Saying
3885
The palest ink is better than the best memory. -- Chinese proverb
3886
The pine stays green in winter...Wisdom in hardship. -- Chinese proverb
3887
The raggy colt often made a powerful horse. -- Irish Proverb
3888
The reverse side also has a reverse side. -- Japanese proverb
3889
The right man comes at the right time. -- Italian Proverb
3890
The road to a friend's house is never long. -- Danish proverb
3891
The Russian knows the way, yet he asks for directions. -- Traditional German Saying
3892
The sea has an enormous thirst and an insatiable appetite. -- French Proverb
3893
The silent dog is the first to bite. -- German Proverb
3894
The smallest thing outlives the human being. -- Irish Proverb
3895
The Spaniard is a bad servant but a worse master. -- Traditional English Saying
3896
The sun will set without thy assistance. -- Hebrew Proverb
3897
The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. -- French Proverb
3898
The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the scythe. -- Russian proverb
3899
The tide tarrieth for no man. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3900
The tongue is more to be feared than the sword. -- Japanese Proverb
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3901
In my day......we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. -- The Washington Post
3902
In my day......we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. -- The Washington Post
3903
In my day......we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes. -- The Washington Post
3904
In my day......we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. -- The Washington Post
3905
In my day......we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. -- The Washington Post
3906
In my day......'60 Minutes' wasn't just a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 60-year-old guys. -- The Washington Post
3907
In my day......we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him. -- The Washington Post
3908
In my day......they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight. -- The Washington Post
3909
In my day......we didn't have Strom Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we did. -- The Washington Post
3910
The truth is not always what we want to hear. -- Yiddish Proverb
3911
The turtle lays thousands of eggs without anyone knowing, but when the hen lays an egg, the whole country is informed. -- Malay Proverb
3912
The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches. -- Irish Proverb
3913
The well fed does not understand the lean. -- Irish Proverb
3914
The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion. -- Arabian Proverb
3915
The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water molds itself to the pitcher. -- Chinese Proverb
3916
The wise man sits on the hole in his carpet. -- Persian Proverb
3917
The wolf loses his teeth, but not his inclinations. -- Spanish Proverb
3918
The work praises the man. -- Irish Proverb
3919
The world is a rose: smell it and pass it on to your friends. -- Persian Proverb
3920
The world would not make a racehorse of a donkey. -- Irish Proverb
3921
There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same. -- Chinese Proverb
3922
There are more old drunkards than old doctors. -- French Proverb
3923
There are only two types of Chinese -- those who give bribes and those who take them. -- Russian Proverb
3924
There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing. -- French Proverb.
3925
There is but one good mother-in-law and she is dead. -- English Proverb
3926
There is honor even among thieves. -- English Proverb
3927
There is hope from the sea, but none from the grave. -- Irish Proverb
3928
There is no fireside like your own fireside. -- Irish Proverb
3929
There is no luck except where there is discipline. -- Irish Proverb
3930
There is no need like the lack of a friend. -- Irish Proverb
3931
There is no strength without unity. -- Irish Proverb
3932
There is plenty of sound in an empty barrel. -- Russian Proverb
3933
There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip. -- Greek Proverb
3934
They who love most are least valued. -- English Proverb
3935
Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. -- William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
3936
Think with the wise but walk with the vulgar. -- German Proverb
3937
Thirst is the end of drinking and sorrow is the end of drunkenness. -- Irish Proverb
3938
Though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the ground. -- Malay Proverb
3939
Three diseases without shame: Love, itch and thirst. -- Irish Proverb
3940
Time is a great story teller. -- Irish Proverb
3941
Three Spaniards, four opinions. -- Spanish Proverb
3942
Time trieth truth. -- English Proverb
3943
To be rich is not everything, but it certainly helps. -- Yiddish Proverb
3944
To deny all, is to confess all. -- Spanish Proverb
3945
To leave is to die a little. -- French Proverb
3946
To lend is to buy a quarrel. -- Indian Proverb
3947
To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming. -- English Proverb (18th century)
3948
To teach is to learn. -- Japanese Proverb
3949
To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation. -- Latin Proverb
3950
To whom you tell your secrets, to him you resign your liberty. -- Spanish Proverb
3951
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. -- Spanish Proverb
3952
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. -- North American Saying
3953
Tomorrow is a new day. -- English Proverb
3954
Tomorrow never comes. -- Proverb of Unknown Origin
3955
Trouble rides a fast horse. -- Italian Proverb
3956
True nobility is in being superior to your previous self. -- Hindustani Proverb
3957
Trust in Allah, but tie your camel. -- Old Muslim Proverb
3958
Truth and oil always come to the surface. -- Spanish Proverb
3959
Truth has a handsome countenance but torn garments. -- German Proverb
3960
Truth is the safest lie. -- Jewish Proverb
3961
Truth stands the test of time; lies are soon exposed. -- Bible - Proverbs 12:19
3962
Truth will be out. -- Latin Proverb
3963
Two heads are better than one. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3964
Two shorten the road. -- Irish Proverb
3965
Two thirds of the work is the semblance. -- Irish Proverb
3966
Unless you enter the tiger's den you cannot take the cubs. -- Japanese Proverb
3967
Visit your aunt, but not every day of the year. -- Spanish Proverb
3968
Walk straight, my son - as the old crab said to the young crab. -- Irish Proverb
3969
Want a thing long enough and you don't. -- Chinese Proverb
3970
War is death's feast. -- George Herbert "Outlandish Proverbs"
3971
Water for oxen, wine for kings. -- Spanish Proverb
3972
We'll never know the worth of water till the well go dry. -- Scottish Proverb
3973
Went in one ear and out the other. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3974
What belongs to everybody belongs to nobody. -- Spanish Proverb
3975
What breaks in a moment may take years to mend. -- Swedish proverb
3976
What one knows it is sometimes useful to forget. -- Latin Proverb
3977
What you cannot avoid, welcome. -- Chinese Proverb
3978
When a father helps a son, both smile; but when a son must help his father, both cry. -- Jewish Proverb
3979
When a twig grows hard it is difficult to twist it. Every beginning is weak. -- Irish Proverb
3980
When fire is applied to a stone it cracks. -- Irish Proverb
3981
When fortune knocks upon the door open it widely. -- Spanish Proverb
3982
When ill luck falls asleep, let none wake her. -- Italian Proverb
3983
When its time has arrived, the prey becomes the hunter. -- Persian Proverb
3984
When one dog barks another will join it. -- Latin Proverb
3985
When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion. -- Ethiopian proverb
3986
When the apple is ripe it will fall. -- Irish Proverb
3987
When the drop (drink) is inside, the sense is outside. -- Irish Proverb
3988
When the iron is hot, strike. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3989
When the liquor was gone the fun was gone. -- Irish Proverb
3990
When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby. -- Nigerian Proverb
3991
When the sun shineth, make hay. -- John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
3992
When the sword of rebellion is drawn, the sheath should be thrown away. -- English Proverb
3993
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. -- African Proverb
3994
When there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world. -- Chinese Proverb
3995
When we sing everybody hears us, when we sigh nobody hears us. -- Russian Proverb
3996
When you live next to the cemetery you cannot weep for everyone. -- Russian Proverb
3997
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. -- Indian proverb
3998
When your enemy falls, don't rejoice -- but don't pick him up either. -- Yiddish Proverb
3999
Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. -- Bible - Proverbs 11:14.
4000
Where the tongue slips, it speaks the truth. -- Irish Proverb
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