Quotes...The Sixth Thousand
From The Whole List
Start at 5001Start at 5101 Start at 5201Start at 5301 Start at 5401
Start at 5501Start at 5601 Start at 5701Start at 5801 Start at 5901

5001
"It ain't over till it's over."

-- Yogi Berra

5002
"This is like deja vu all over again."

-- Yogi Berra

5003
Phil Rizzuto - "Hey Yogi I think we're lost."
Yogi - "Ya, but we're making great time!"

-- Yogi Berra

5004
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

-- Yogi Berra

5005
" I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on it's head."

-- Yogi Berra

5006
"You can observe a lot just by watchin'."

-- Yogi Berra

5007
"How can you think and hit at the same time?"

-- Yogi Berra

5008
"In baseball, you don't know nothin'."

-- Yogi Berra

5009
On seeing a Steve McQueen movie: - "He must have made that before he died"

-- Yogi Berra

5010
"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

-- Yogi Berra

5011
"Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical"

-- Yogi Berra

5012
Mrs. Lindsay - "You certainly look cool." - Yogi - "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself."

-- Yogi Berra

5013
"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

-- Yogi Berra

5014
"I want to thank all those who made this night necessary."

-- Yogi Berra

5015
"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."

-- Yogi Berra

5016
Interviewer - "Why, you're a fatalist !" - Yogi Berra - "You mean I save postage stamps ? Not me."

-- Yogi Berra

5017
"You got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

-- Yogi Berra

5018
"Slump ? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin."

-- Yogi Berra

5019
"It's pretty far, but it doesn't seem like it."

-- Yogi Berra

5020
"It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much."

-- Yogi Berra

5021
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it!"

-- Yogi Berra

5022
Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth.
Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.

-- Unknown

5023
Lawlessness is the condition in which your adversary refers you to a law he made.

-- Unknown

5024
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

-- Ronald Reagan

5025
It isn't that Liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so much that isn't so.

-- Ronald Reagan

5026
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges, even where there are no rivers.

-- Nikita Khrushchev

5027
I won't say he flew a lot. But he won't start a cabinet meeting until the seat backs and tray tables are locked into the upright position.

-- Senator Bob Dole on the former White House Chief of Staff, John Sununu

5028
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

-- Will Rogers

5029
It's the responsibility of the media to look at the president with a microscope, but they go too far when they use a proctoscope.

-- Richard M. Nixon

5030
Do you want to trace your family tree? Run for public office.

-- Patricia H. Vance

5031
I do the very best I know how. The very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end.

-- Abraham Lincoln

5032
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

-- Napoleon Bonaparte

5033
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of governement except all the others that have been tried.

-- Winston Churchill

5034
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

-- George B. Shaw

5035
An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his country.

-- Sir Henry Wotton

5036
I love my job, it's the work I hate.

-- Unknown

5037
Give us the tools and we will finish the job.

-- Winston Churchill

5038
We work not only to produce but to give value to time.

-- Delacroix

5039
I never did a day's work in my life, it was all fun.

-- Thomas Alva Edison

5040
Work is a four letter word!

-- Unknown

5041
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?

-- Edgar Bergen

5042
A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind.

-- Unknown

5043
Few great men could pass Personnel.

-- Paul Goodman

5044
Hardly a competent workman can be found who does not devote a considerable amount of time to studying just how slowly he can work and still convince his employer that he is going at a good pace.

-- Frederick W. Taylor

5045
WARNING TO ALL PERSONNEL Firings will continue until moral improves.

-- Unknown

5046
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

-- Groucho Marx

5047
The secret of acting is sincerity. Once you have learnt to fake that, you're made.

-- Unknown

5048
Have a drink. Just a little one to lessen the differences in our characters.

-- Noel Coward

5049
Here's looking at you, kid.

-- Humphrey Bogart

5050
Bad table manners have broken up more households than infidelity.

-- Isabel Jeans

5051
This is the way I look when I'm sober. It's enough to make a person drink, don't you say?

-- Lee Remick

5052
A man needs a little madness or else...he never dares to cut the rope and be free.

-- Anthony Quinn

5053
All Battles are fought by scared men who would have rather have been somewhere else.

-- John Wayne, In Harms Way, 1965

5054
What's the going price on integrity this week?

-- Orson Welles to Oliver Reed in I'll Never Forget Whatsisname, 1967

5055
Killing is an excellent way of dealing with a hostility problem.

-- James Coburn in The President's Analyst, 1967

5056
Well, I'll tell you the truth. I ain't no real cowboy, but I'm a hell of a stud.

-- Jon Voight to Dustin Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy, 1969

5057
Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot.

-- Clint Eastwood in Magnum Force, 1973

5058
What is essential is invisible to the eye. It's only with the heart that one can see clearly.

-- Gene Wilder in The Little Prince, 1974

5059
Use the force, Luke.

-- Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars, 1977

5060
You're not too bright. I like that in a man.

-- Kathleen Turner to William Hurt in Body Heat, 1981

5061
No No, I'm not his friend. I'm his wife.

-- Diane Keaton on Albert Finney in Shoot the Moon, 1982

5062
Go ahead, make my day.

-- Clint Eastwood in Sudden Impact, 1983

5063
It's better to burn out than to fade away!

-- The Kurgan in the film Highlander, 198?

5064
They say time is the fire, in which we burn.

-- Malcolm McDowell to Patrick Stewart in 'Star Trek: Generations', 1994

5065
The world is a beautiful place, and it is worth fighting for.

-- Morgan Freeman in Seven, 1995

5066
If it was so, it might and if it were so it would be, but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.

-- Lewis Caroll

5067
From birth to age 18 A girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35 she needs good looks. From 35 to 55 she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash.

-- Sophie Tucker

5068
The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.

-- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

5069
Love is like a flower. It shortly dies.

-- Unknown

5070
A woman's love is a man's privilege, not his right.

-- Unknown

5071
I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures.

-- From a bumper sticker

5072
Those who say they can see through women are missing a lot.

-- Unknown

5073
I have yet not been able to answer...the great question that has never been answered : What does a woman want?

-- Sigmund Freud

5074
I'm not happy, I'm cheerful. There's a difference. A happy woman has no cares at all. A cheerful woman has cares but has learned how to deal with them.

-- Beverly Sills

5075
The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

-- Unknown

5076
You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

-- Unknown

5077
Women like the simple things in life, like men.

-- Unknown

5078
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

-- Unknown

5079
There is no such thing as a totally objective person, except Almighty God if she exists.

-- Unknown

5080
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

-- Charlotte Whitton

5081
I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery. I insist on believing that some men are my equals.

-- Brigid Brophy

5082
My advice to the women's clubs of America is to raise more hell and fewer dahlias.

-- William Allen White

5083
A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.

-- Lillian Day

5084
A company is known by the people it keeps.

-- Unknown

5085
All organized systems move towards chaos.

-- Unknown

5086
Simply pushing harder within the old boundaries will not do.

-- Karl Weick

5087
Many people find it reassuring to think that someone else has the answer; others believe they have it and take control; CEO's frequently benefit from the realization that there is not one answer.

-- Unknown

5088
Why is it that if you kill a man in war your are a hero, but if you kill a man outside of war you are called a murderer?

-- Jonathan Grimes

5089
About the military :
If it moves, salute it. If it does not move pick it up. If you can not pick it up,paint it!

-- Unknown

5090
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.

-- Robert Frost

5091
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

-- General G.C. Patton

5092
While your saving your face, you're losing your ass.

-- President Lyndon Johnson

5093
There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity.

-- Douglas MacArthur

5094
War is based on deception.

-- Sun tzu, +/- 500 B.C.

5095
To secure peace is to prepare for war.

-- Carl von Clausewitz

5096
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

--

5097
When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.

-- Lao Tse

5098
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

-- Al Capone

5099
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.

-- Doug Larson

5100
Life is like a grindstone - whether it grinds you down or polishes you up depends on what you're made of.

-- Unknown

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5101
Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man. (Speaking of Albert Einstein)

-- Unknown

5102
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.

-- Unknown

5103
A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.

-- Unknown

5104
Advertising Anachronism: 'Fresh Frozen'.

-- Unknown

5105
ADVERTISING MAJORS do it with style.

-- Unknown

5106
A farmer is always going to be rich next year.

-- Unknown

5107
After a certain number of years, our faces become our biographies.

-- Unknown

5108
Absence of Evidence is not Evidence of Absence.

-- Quotes by UFO Expert

5109
A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable.

-- Unknown

5110
It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.

-- Andrew Jackson

5111
Changing things is central to leadership, and changing them before anyone else is creativeness.

-- Anthony Jay

5112
The only real training for leadership is leadership.

-- Anthony Jay

5113
Just cross your hearts, and wait till you die.

-- Unknown

5114
Only the shallow know themselves.

-- Oscar Wilde

5115
Putting a family member in jail is a good sign there is something seriously wrong in the home.

-- Ricki Lake

5116
Sometimes when you hit the trail, the trail hits back.

-- Marlboro ad

5117
It's not how many times you get thrown, it's how many times you get back on.

-- Marlboro ad

5118
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

-- Pablo Picasso

5119
It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself.

-- J.S. Bach

5120
The aim of every authentic artist is not to conform to the history of art but to release himself from it in order to replace it with his own history.

-- Harold Rosenberg

5121
Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that has.

-- Margaret Meade

5122
He who laughs last, hasn't passed out yet.

-- Unknown

5123
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to death your right to say it.

-- Voltaire

5124
My dear child, you must believe in God despite what the clergy tells you.

-- Benjamin Jowett

5125
The Color of the World is changing day by day.

-- Les Miserables

5126
A lot of things change and alot of things stay the same, they mostly stay the same.

-- David Heyman

5127
It's better to burn out than to fade away.

-- Unknown

5128
Impossible only means that you haven't found the solution yet.

-- Unknown

5129
We have done so much with so little, for so long that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

-- Unknown

5130
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

-- Ann Landers

5131
One hundred percent, one hundred percent of the time.

-- David P. Milton

5132
It's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

-- Unknown

5133
When a married man had an affair with a woman twice his age, it could be true love; but when he did so with a woman half his age, it is just pure lust.

-- Unknown

5134
Nothing fails like success.

-- Unknown

5135
If it ain't fixed continuously, it's broke.

-- Unknown

5136
Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

-- Ovid (43 B.C.-A.D. 18)

5137
Gray hair is God's graffiti.

-- Bill Cosby

5138
Kill 'em all. Let God sort 'em out.

-- Various ascribed

5139
This generation may be the one that will face Armageddon.

-- Ronald Reagan

5140
And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning.

-- Sir Winston Churchill in response to Bessie Braddock, who told him he was drunk

5141
The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.

-- Theodore Roosevelt

5142
It is not the end, it is even not the beginning of the end. It is perhaps the end of the beginning.

-- Sir Wiston Churchill

5143
I will venture to lay it down for an infallible rule, that, if two persons equal in judgement play for a considerable sum, he that loves money the most shall lose; his anxiety for the success of the game confounds him.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5144
History is a lie agreed upon.

-- Napoleon Bonaparte

5145
I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

-- Harry S. Truman

5146
Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

-- John F. Kennedy

5147
I would not like to be a political leader in Russia. They never know when they're being taped.

-- Unknown

5148
I ain't ever had a job. I just always played baseball.

-- Leroy Robert "Satchel" Paige

5149
Individual commitment to a group effort, that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.

-- Vince Lombardi

5150
I don't know what I am doing here. I can't sing, I can't dance, but just to be sociable I'll fight the best man in the house.

-- Rocky Marciano

5151
I don't like it, and I'm sorry I ever had anything to do with it.

-- Erwin Schrodinger talking about quantum mechanics.

5152
A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.

-- Dr. Who

5153
Door meten tot weten. (To knowledge by measurement).

-- Kammerlingh, Dutch low temperature physicist

5154
It is the business of the future to be dangerous.... The major advances in civilization are processes that all but wreck the societies in which they occur.

-- Alfred North Whitehead

5155
Experience has shown that science frequently develops most fruitfully once we learn to examine the things that seem the simplest, instead of those that seem the most mysterious. Marvin Minsky

5156

-- Unknown

5157
There is no gravity, the earth just sucks.

-- Unknown

5158
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

-- Arthur C. Clarke

5159
If I have seen farther than other men, it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants.

-- Sir Isaac Newton

5160
Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe.

-- Albert Einstein

5161
All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

-- Ernest (1st Baron) Rutherford

5162
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

-- Albert Einstein

5163
The only possible interpretation of any research whatever in the 'social sciences' is: some do, some don't.

-- Ernest (1st Baron) Rutherford

5164
Never express yourself more clearly than you think.

-- Neils Bohr

5165
In the pure and physical sciences each generation inherits the consequences made by its predecessors, but in the moral sciences, particularly the arts of administration, the ground seems never to be incontestably won.

-- Unknown

5166
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it) but "That's funny..."

-- Isaac Asimov

5167
There is more to life than increasing speed.

-- Mohandas K. Gandhi

5168
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

-- Krishnamarti

5169
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

-- Ambrose Bilerce

5170
Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.

-- Harry Emerson Fosdick

5171
Not to know the past is to be in bondage to it, while to remember, to know, is to be set free.

-- Dr. Sigmund Freud

5172
Consider the past and you shall know the future.

-- Chinese Proverb

5173
Whether we will philosophize or we won't philosophize, we must philosophize.

-- Aristotle

5174
I think therefore I am (Ergo Cogito Sum).

-- Descartes

5175
I need a prison in order to dream of being free.

-- John Popper (Blues Traveler)

5176
Life is what happens to us while we're making other plans.

-- John Lennon

5177
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, when?

-- Hillel

5178
A wise man that walks in the dark with a blindfold on, is not much of a wise man.

-- Chris Senkbeil

5179
Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.

-- From an old african proverb

5180
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

-- Unknown

5181
Live in today because your past is not your potential.

-- Unknown

5182
You can't get where you want to go if you don't know where you are.

-- Unknown

5183
If you keep doing things like you've always done them, what you'll get is what you've already got.

-- Radio Commercial, 1994

5184
Fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.

-- Unknown

5185
Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind.

-- Unknown

5186
Happiness is the meaning and purpose of Life, the whole aim and end of Human exsistence.

-- Unknown

5187
No one can make you inferior without your consent.

-- Unknown

5188
If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain.

-- Unknown

5189
To many time we confuse motion with progress.

-- Cyclops

5190
The best way to predict your future is to create it.

-- Unknown

5191
I would willingly stand on street corners, hat in hand, begging passersby to drop their unused minutes into it.

-- Unknown

5192
Not just passing time and place, but living the experience of being anytime, anyplace.

-- Folkert Ringnalda on the Internet and the future

5193
Philosophy, like Medicine, has many drugs, very few good remedies, and almost no specifics.

-- Sebastien-Roch-Nicholas Chamfort

5194
If I wished to punish a province, I would have it governed by philosophers.

-- Frederick II, The Great

5195
The past is history,
The future is a mystery
and now is a gift.
That's why we call it the present.

-- Unknown

5196
The taller the bamboo grows, the lower it bends.

-- Chinese saying ?

5197
If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.

-- Marcus Garvey

5198
Know from whence you came. If you know whence you came, there are absolutely no limitations to where you can go.

-- James Baldwin

5199
No one feels another's grief, no one understands another's joy. People imagine they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by.

-- Franz Schubert

5200
One who condones evils is just as guilty as the one who perpetrates it.

-- Dr. Martin Luthor King Jr.

To top of page

5201
Is this question relevant?

-- Unknown

5202
Is anyone going anywhere?

-- Unknown

5203
Is almost always nearly enough?

-- Unknown

5204
Who would win in a fight: Mick Jagger or all four Beatles?

-- Unknown

5205
Why is blue considered a color of sadness if most people find happiness in a blue sky?

-- Unknown

5206
How many people know me?

-- Unknown

5207
How probable is it that we can go through life seeing every stranger only once? Surely we must see some of these "strangers" many times more than we are aware of.

-- Unknown

5208
In the end, are people really good at heart?

-- Unknown

5209
Are you sure?

-- Unknown

5210
When will people run out of questions to ask and boundaries to break?

-- Unknown

5211
What is the most common color on Earth?

-- Unknown

5212
If everything that is illegal now, were made legal, would anyone still do any of these things?

-- Unknown

5213
Why do you sneeze if you look right at the sun?

-- Unknown

5214
Who invented complicated algebra and geometry? Did they have a use for it at the time it was invented?

-- Unknown

5215
Why do people say, when something is lost, "it's always in the last place you look"? Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

-- Unknown

5216
Why do some people say, "can I ask you a question?" You didn't really give me a choice there, did you, buddy?

-- Unknown

5217
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

-- Unknown

5218
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

-- Albert Einstein

5219
Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding.

-- Sanjay Kumar

5220
Who needs sight when you've got vision.

-- Walther Mattieu in 'I'm not Rappaport'

5221
Everything is relative to nothing.

-- Susan Epperley

5222
God was having so much fun creating His Creation that He created Mankind to help Him create.

-- German Philosopher

5223
We can't run from what we are, our destiny chooses us.

-- Unknown

5224
Wisdom is a greater prize than pride.

-- Unknown

5225
We all want love to come along, yet we put all these restrictions on how it should arrive...

-- Unknown

5226
It doesn't do to leave a dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.

-- J.R.R. Tolkein

5227
Love is like a wet cement, the more you stay the harder you live and it is hard to live without leaving your print behind.

-- Unknown

5228
How glorious it is, and also how painful, to be an exception.

-- Alfred de Musset

5229
Life is like a bowl of punch. Every now and then its okay to spike it.

-- Unknown

5230
Math is the alphabet of the universe.

-- Galileo

5231
You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

-- Unknown

5232
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, it never was.

-- Unknown

5233
Behind the desire lies the beast.

-- Luis Royo

5234
The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.

-- Unknown

5235
The hardest fight is against your own demons.

-- Unknown

5236
If you spend your life looking back at what could have been, you are bound to trip over opportunities that lie ahead.

-- Unknown

5237
You didn't go to school to learn that life is taught on the streets.

-- Ronald Anthony

5238
The doers and undoers give each other purpose.

-- Ronald Anthony

5239
When I feel no one understands, no one will, for I then become no one myself.

-- Ronald Anthony

5240
The simplest answers are the hardest believed and easiest found.

-- Ronald Anthony

5241
A period must come to an end in order to have begun.

-- Ronald Anthony

5242
Our life is not what we are "Our life" is not what "we are".

-- Ronald Anthony

5243
It's as easy to lose as hard as it is to gain.

-- Unknown

5244
Existence exists in the mind and the minds of others.

-- Unknown

5245
I put it my way till I find someone who understands that then "it" is our way.

-- Unknown

5246
When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most.

-- Unknown

5247
A point of reference is the most sought after point in life.

-- Unknown

5248
It hurts to know on the outside we feel inside.

-- Unknown

5249
We need so much to love and only so little to hate.

-- Unknown

5250
Don't let traditions, dictate your decisions.

-- Unknown

5251
A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault.

-- Unknown

5252
The universe begins to look like a great thought, rather than a great machine.

-- Unknown

5253
What's life without a crisis every now and then? Bor-ing. So I guess I've had a pretty exiting life up to now.

-- Unknown

5254
Why wait for the window of oppurtunity to open? Break it open!

-- Unknown

5255
There is enough for everyone's need, there is never enough for everyone's greed.

-- Ghandi

5256
If ever in doubt, the answer's always no. Because where there is doubt, there is no faith.

-- Barrell

5257
It is nice to be important. But more important to be nice.

-- Unknown

5258
Time is relative to experience.

-- Unknown

5259
He who walks the line never experiences the path.

-- Unknown

5260
Nothing is what it seems, and everything is what it isn't.

-- Unknown

5261
There are two ways to live life: One as though nothing is a blessing, one as though everything is a blessing.

-- Albert Einstein

5262
Be what you want to be, not what others want you to be, thats the only way you'll find true happiness.

-- Unknown

5263
Before I can know anything I must believe.

-- St. Augustine

5264
They can send you to college, but they can't make you think.

-- Unknown

5265
Love and Life are like two flowing rivers, they will have to meet in the ocean.

-- Unknown

5266
Today said thanks for the fun, but tommorrow says the best is yet to come.

-- Unknown

5267
The truth hurts.

-- Unknown

5268
Living is a life long process.

-- Unknown

5269
There is a dream dreaming us.

-- The Bushmen of the Kalahari

5270
Nothing is either good nor bad, thinking makes it so.

-- Shakespeare

5271
Some people may not like me, but, if I changed me, I wouldn't like me.

-- 3rd grader

5272
You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

-- Unknown

5273
Live life knowing that in the end, the only race is with yourself.

-- Unknown

5274
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, and for every door thats closed I hope one opens, promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance ... I hope you dance.

-- Leanne Womack

5275
Secrets are the swords and trust is the shield... only one will win! Honestly, the good guy can't always cut it.

-- Unknown

5276
You've got to dance like no one is watching and love like it's never going to hurt.

-- Unknown

5277
I know who I am, and who I may be, if I choose.

-- Cervantes

5278
Men live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies into which they can never enter, and with their hand on the doorlatch they die outside.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

5279
And the day came when the risk to remain closed in the bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

-- Helen Thompson

5280
Knowing and not doing is the same as not knowing at all.

-- Unknown

5281
Two men look through the same bars; one sees mud, the other stars.

-- Unknown

5282
When two friends part they should lock up each others secrets and exchange keys.

-- Unknown

5283
Life is as beautiful as you make it.

-- Unknown

5284
The power to express yourself is the power to be yourself and that is the greatest power of all.

-- Unknown

5285
Excellence is an attitude, not an inheritance.

-- Anita J. Marshall

5286
A teacher plants learning seeds.

-- A plaque.

5287
Children are always the only future the human race has. Teach them well.

-- A plaque.

5288
I seek for my ultimate considerations, but like all men past, I too will be conquered.

-- Unknown

5289
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.

-- Hillcrest Christian Church

5290
Smile, you never know who's falling in love with it.

-- Unknown

5291
A child without courage is like the sky without stars.

-- "Annie", The movie

5292
Do or do not, there is no try.

-- Yoda

5293
The greatest pain that comes from love, is loving someone you can never have.

-- Unknown

5294
I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

-- Unknown

5295
If you write someones name in the sand the waves will wash it away, but if you write it in your heart it will remain.

-- Unknown

5296
To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.

-- Unknown

5297
Don't go after the person you can picture spending the rest of your life with, go after the person you can't imagine spending the rest of your life without.

-- Unknown

5298
Amongst democratic nations, men easily attain a certain equality of condition, but they can never attain as much as they desire.

-- Christopher Lowery

5299
Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.

-- Unknown

5300
True love is when your need for someone exceeds your love for someone.

-- Unknown

To top of page

5301
Word power...

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

-- Unknown

5302
Word power...

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

-- Unknown

5303
Word power...

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

-- Unknown

5304
Word power...

Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

-- Unknown

5305
Word power...

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

-- Unknown

5306
Word power...

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

-- Unknown

5307
Word power...

Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

-- Unknown

5308
Word power...

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

-- Unknown

5309
Word power...

Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

-- Unknown

5310
Word power...

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

-- Unknown

5311
Word power...

Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.

-- Unknown

5312
Word power...

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

-- Unknown

5313
Word power...

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

-- Unknown

5314
Word power...

Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

-- Unknown

5315
Word power...

Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

-- Unknown

5316
Word power...

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.

-- Unknown

5317
Word power...

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

-- Unknown

5318
Word power...

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.

-- Unknown

5319
Word power...

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

-- Unknown

5320
Word power...

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

-- Unknown

5321
Word power...

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

-- Unknown

5322
Word power...

Glibido: All talk and no action.

-- Unknown

5323
Word power...

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

-- Unknown

5324
Word power...

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

-- Unknown

5325
Word power...

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and a jerk.

-- Unknown

5326
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

-- Unknown

5327
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Put M&M's on layaway.

-- Unknown

5328
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.

-- Unknown

5329
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

-- Unknown

5330
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

-- Unknown

5331
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.

-- Unknown

5332
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

-- Unknown

5333
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

-- Unknown

5334
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

-- Unknown

5335
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you floss your teeth.

-- Unknown

5336
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

-- Unknown

5337
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

-- Unknown

5338
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

-- Unknown

5339
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest rooms.

-- Unknown

5340
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

-- Unknown

5341
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

-- Unknown

5342
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Sit on a chair and read a book for hours.

-- Unknown

5343
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"

-- Unknown

5344
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

-- Unknown

5345
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

-- Unknown

5346
Things to do at Wal-Mart...

Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

-- Unknown

5347
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

-- Unknown

5348
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

-- Unknown

5349
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

-- Unknown

5350
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

If all is not lost, where is it?

-- Unknown

5351
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

-- Unknown

5352
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

-- Unknown

5353
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

-- Unknown

5354
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

-- Unknown

5355
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

-- Unknown

5356
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

-- Unknown

5357
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

-- Unknown

5358
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

-- Unknown

5359
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

-- Unknown

5360
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:

These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter....I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm here after.

-- Unknown

5361
The greatest risk is not taking one.

-- Unknown

5362
The average American works 24.5 years before earning a million dollars.

-- Unknown

5363
Life is not so short that there is no time for courtesy.

-- Unknown

5364
People exit our lives as quickly as they came in.

-- Unknown

5365
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches

-- Unknown

5366
You can't love others until you love yourself.

-- Unknown

5367
If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day, but if you teach a man how to fish he will eat forever.

-- Unknown

5368
No one is normal, for if every boy and girl in the world is different, then no one is normal.

-- Unknown

5369
All too often we find ourselves expanding outward to further our lives, when in fact we can further them beyond human fathom if we look within ourselves

-- Unknown

5370
Never, ever quit. By quitting, you admit defeat, and then your are trully beaten. And it is no one's fault but your own for stopping

-- Unknown

5371
Not only has humankind disregarded the need of love in the family, but we overlook our environment as well, and with these two omissions, we cannot survive

-- Unknown

5372
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life, God gave me life that I might enjoy all things.

-- Unknown

5373
Do not walk behind me because I will not lead. Do not walk in front of me because I will not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend

-- Unknown

5374
You're smart enought to raise your kids until they get old enough to tell you how stupid you are.

-- Unknown

5375
Don't hate the player ... hate the game.

-- Unknown

5376
People are like pieces of a puzzle, we all fit together, but not all of us connect.

-- Unknown

5377
You gotta dream like you're going to live forever and live like you're going to die tomorrow.

-- Unknown

5378
If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be

-- Goethe

5379
Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.

-- Martin Luther

5380
To dream of the person you long to be is a waste of the person you are.

-- Unknown

5381
Sometimes you really can't, even when you say you can, but that doesn't mean you should ever give up on your hopes and dreams

-- Unknown

5382
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

-- Unknown

5383
The best preparation for tomorrow is to do today's work superbly well.

-- Sir William Mosler

5384
Keep your face towards the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you.

-- Unknown

5385
Accept, don't expect.

-- Unknown

5386
It's not just the eyes that give us sight.

-- Unknown

5387
He who said money isn't everything ... doesn't have any.

-- Unknown

5388
Money can't buy me love.

-- The Beatles

5389
Prejudice and racism is like a plague that can win over people's hearts and indulge their souls, but those who can grow aware of every culture can learn to become immune.

-- Unknown

5390
Don't blind me of the evils of the world, I ask you God, just let me see and learn.

-- Unknown

5391
Of thy heart, thy will's defined.

-- Unknown

5392
All that we see or have seen is nothing but a dream within a dream.

-- Poe

5393
If you stop yourself from learning, you are already dead.

-- Unknown

5394
A true friend is someone who knows everything about you, and likes you anyway.

-- Unknown

5395
Dreams are the answers to questions that we haven't learned how to ask.

-- From "The X-Files"

5396
Don't let worrying about tomorrow steal the joy from today. Today may be all that we have.

-- Unknown

5397
Everything happens for a reason.

-- Unknown

5398
Turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters.

-- Dave Matthews Band

5399
It is not the past that matters but the future.

-- Agatha Christie

5400
What I want is what I've not got, but what I need is all around me.

-- Dave Matthews Band

To top of page

5401
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

-- Unknown

5402
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Every day more money is printed for monopoly than the US Treasury.

-- Unknown

5403
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Men can read smaller print than women, women can hear better than men.

-- Unknown

5404
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

-- Unknown

5405
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Cost of raising a medium sized dog to the age of 11: $6,400.

-- Unknown

5406
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Average number of people airborne over the US during any given hour: 61,000.

-- Unknown

5407
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

The world's youngest parents were 8 & 9 and lived in China in 1910.

-- Unknown

5408
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

The youngest Pope was 11 years old.

-- Unknown

5409
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

-- Unknown

5410
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

-- Unknown

5411
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile national monuments.

-- Unknown

5412
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

-- Unknown

5413
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on 4 JULY, John Hancock and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on 2 AUG., but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

-- Unknown

5414
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

-- Unknown

5415
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

The term "whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the 50-caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got the "whole 9 yards".

-- Unknown

5416
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

The Interstate system was designed so that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of War or other emergencies. The Intestate's official name is "The National Defense Highway System."

-- Unknown

5417
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only 6" for each gallon of fuel that it burns.

-- Unknown

5418
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosey is a rhyme about the bubonic plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores (Ring around the Rosey). These sores would smell very bad so people would hide flowers on their bodies in an attempt to mask the smell ("pocket full of posies"). People who died from the plague would be burned to reduce the spread of the disease ("ashes, ashes, we all fall Down").

-- Unknown

5419
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Q: What separates "60 Minutes" on CBS from every other TV show?
A: No theme song.

-- Unknown

5420
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Q: Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A: Their birthplace.

-- Unknown

5421
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Q: What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and printers all have in common?
A: All were invented by women.

-- Unknown

5422
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Q: What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A: Honey.

-- Unknown

5423
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Q: There are more collect calls made on this day than any other.
A: Fathers Day.

-- Unknown

5424
Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School!

Q: What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) is most ironic?
A: He was allergic to carrots.

-- Unknown

5425
It's through the pain that we find the truth of who we are.

-- Unknown

5426
Live the life you love and love the life you live.

-- Unknown

5427
True love is rare and it's the only thing that gives life real meaning.

-- Unknown

5428
Sometimes the only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy.

-- From "Girl Interupted"

5429
After climbing a great hill, one only finds there are many more hills to climb.

-- Unknown

5430
The difference between genius and stupidity, is genius has its limits.

-- Unknown

5431
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

-- Unknown

5432
O wad some Power the giftie gie us. To see oursels as ithers see us.

-- Robert Burns

5433
Prove the impossible really exists.

-- Unknown

5434
It's never to late to be what you might have been.

-- George Eliott

5435
We become strong at the broken places.

-- Unknown

5436
The intuitive mind is a gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.

-- Albert Einstein

5437
Know where you are going, how you plan to get there and what you plan to do when you arrive.

-- Unknown

5438
Love is not blind; it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it chooses to see less.

-- Unknown

5439
A dream is like a river, everchanging as it flows. And the dreamer's just a vessel that much follows where it goes. So don't you sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied- choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides.

-- Unknown

5440
You can fall from a mountain. You can fall from above. But the best way to fall, is to fall in love.

-- Unknown

5441
Do not doubt your powers, or else you give power to your doubts.

-- Unknown

5442
I wish I could be your tear drops, for what more could anyone ask for then to be concieved in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

-- Unknown

5443
A fruit can only be enjoyed when it's ripe.

-- Tzouannis

5444
Once a person reaches a certain point of intellect he goes one of two ways: towards humanity or towards egomania. Thankfully, there are those who recognize their place and find a warm, comfortable spot in the middle of the two.

-- Roger Smith

5445
Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.

-- Abraham Lincoln

5446
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

-- Oscar Wilde

5447
Remember ... there's a little kid inside all of us. Once in a while, let the kid out to play.

-- Bill Cosby

5448
God is Himself, apart from all the religions.

-- Alexander Evans

5449
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things can't be.

-- Unknown

5450
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

-- Aristoteles

5451
If you don't take a chance, you don't stand a chance.

-- Unknown

5452
You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.

-- Mary Tyler Moore

5453
Don't you be thinking, you be knowing.

-- Blaize Barnes

5454
The glass is not half full, it is broken.

-- Bill Herbert

5455
Guys give love to get sex, girls give sex to get love.

-- Unknown

5456
Imagination is the preview of life's coming attractions.

-- Unknown

5457
Our lives are better left to chance, I could've missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.

-- Garth Brooks

5458
People look strange, when you're a stranger.

-- The Doors

5459
All you need is love.

-- John Lennon

5460
Do not doubt your powers, or else they will disappear.

-- Alexander Evans

5461
Don't run away from the things you're scared of, cause you won't get anywhere.

-- Unknown

5462
One cannot call oneself one, if one is not one with oneself.

-- Unknown

5463
I'd rather be a failure at somthing I love, than a success at something I hate.

-- Unknown

5464
Dont just be a reactionary... be a revolutionary.

-- Unknown

5465
People have two feelings: fear and love, all others come from the imagination.

-- Alexander Evans

5466
The funny thing about dreams is they come true if you work on them long enough.

-- Alexander Evans

5467
A lot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want.

-- Madonna

5468
Tommorrow's not yours for sure, but today you can do anything.

-- Alexander Evans

5469
Craziness is freedom, freedom is not craziness.

-- Unknown

5470
The touch of someone that cares for you can make a world of difference.

-- Unknown

5471
Everyone's purpose in life is to live life to their fullest.

-- Unknown

5472
Some people give excuses, some people give explanations, then there are the people who give results.

-- Unknown

5473
Keep a smile on your face and a rainbow in your heart.

-- Unknown

5474
No matter how high you are in life always stay humble, for at any moment it can all be taken from you.

-- Unknown

5475
I play with the cards life deals me, I'm a good player, so watch how you play your cards...

-- Unknown

5476
With great power, comes great responsibillity.

-- Spiderman

5477
Do what you think is right.

-- Unknown

5478
Hoping that someone will change will only change yourself.

-- Unknown

5479
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have forgotten how to fly.

-- Unknown

5480
Our technology has surpassed our humanity, someday I hope our humanity will surpass our technology.

-- From the movie "Congo"

5481
The less you open your heart to others the more you suffer, you never loose by loving, you always lose by holding back.

-- Unknown

5482
The road of life is rocky and you may stumble too, so while you point your finger, someone else is judging you.

-- Unknown

5483
After all I have lived through I have learned but one thing: Not everything counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

-- Unknown

5484
Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

-- Unknown

5485
The best realization that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

-- Unknown

5486
Love is when you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.

-- Unknown

5487
Life is not about the destination, it is the journey.

-- Unknown

5488
Say what you feel and do what you want, for those who mind don't matter, and for those who matter don't mind.

-- Unknown

5489
The past is a present to the future.

-- Unknown

5490
It is better to remain silent and thought of as a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

-- Mark Twain

5491
Never believe that you are better than anyone else, and never believe that anyone else is better than you.

-- Unknown

5492
The wind blows, the light flows, earth and the grass stay put, one must learn the difference of a time to change and a time to resist.

-- Unknown

5493
Practice makes perfect so be careful what you practice.

-- Unknown

5494
You can't turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again.

-- Unknown

5495
Remember in any situation where you feel nervous: It's ok to be nervous, but confidence wins.

-- Unknown

5496
Can you go back in time, to a place in your mind, to the one who knew, a part of you, that you just couldn't find?

-- From the theme song of "Stealing Home"

5497
Friendship has many faces, but we all forget sometimes that the most familiar of them is found right in the mirror.

-- Unknown

5498
Words are seductive and dangerous material, to be used with caution.

-- Unknown

5499
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.

-- Unknown

5500
Waiting for love is asking for a heartache. It's kinda like eating candy and not brushing your teeth ... you wait for a toothache.

-- Unknown

To top of page

5501
A little well-gotten will do us more good, than lordships and sceptres by Rapine and Blood.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5502
Many a long dispute among Divines may be thus abridged: It is so: It is not so; It is so: It is not so.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5503
Ill Customs and Bad Advice are seldom forgotten.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5504
He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5505
He that speaks ill of the Mare, will buy her.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5506
Fish and Visitors stink after three days.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5507
How few there are who have courage enough to own their Faults, or resolution enough to mend them!

-- Benjamin Franklin

5508
He that can compose himself, is wiser than he that composes books.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5509
A country man between two lawyers, is like a Fish between two Cats.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5510
After crosses and losses, men grow humbler and wiser.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5511
The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5512
Well done is better than well said.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5513
There are three faithful Friends - an old Wife, an old Dog, and ready Money.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5514
He that can travel well afoot, keeps a good horse.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5515
Who has deceiv'd thee so oft as thy self?

-- Benjamin Franklin

5516
A traveller should have a Hog's nose, a Deer's legs, and an Ass's back.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5517
No better relation than a prudent and faithful Friend.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5518
An honest Man will receive neither Money nor Praise that is not his due.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5519
Avoid dishonest gain: no price Can recompense the pangs of vice.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5520
There are more old Drunkards than old Doctors.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5521
Harry Smatter, has a Mouth for every Matter.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5522
'Tis a well spent penny that saves a groat.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5523
Many Foxes grow grey, but few grow good.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5524
Content makes poor Men rich Discontent makes rich Men poor.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5525
If your head is wax, don't walk in the Sun.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5526
Genius without Education is like Silver in the Mine.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5527
You can bear your own F'aults, why not a Fault in your Wife?

-- Benjamin Franklin

5528
Doing an Injury puts you below your Enemy; Revenging one makes you but even with him; Forgiving it sets you above him.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5529
Great Good-nature, without Prudence, is a great Misfortune.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5530
An infallible Remedy for Tooth-ache, viz. - Wash the root of an aching Tooth, in Elder vinegar, and let it dry half an hour in the Sun; after which it will never ache more.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5531
A Pair of good Ears will wring dry an hundred Tongues.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5532
A penny saved is two pence clear. A pin a-day is a groat a-year. Save and have.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5533
Every little makes a mickle.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5534
Keep thy shop, and thy shop will keep thee.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5535
Beware, beware; he'll cheat without scruple, who can without fear.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5536
If you would have Guests merry with cheer, be so yourself, or so at least appear.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5537
The poor Man must walk to get meat for his stomach, the rich man to get a stomach for his meat.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5538
Avarice and Happiness never saw each other, how then should they become acquainted?

-- Benjamin Franklin

5539
The family of Fools is ancient.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5540
The King's cheese is half wasted in parings; but no matter, 'tis made of the People's milk.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5541
There's many witty Men whose brains can't fill their bellies.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5542
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows, nor judge all he sees.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5543
Times change...

1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair

-- Unknown

5544
Times change...

1970: The perfect high
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund

-- Unknown

5545
Times change...

1970: Keg
2000: EKG

-- Unknown

5546
Times change...

1970: Acid Rock
2000: Acid Reflux

-- Unknown

5547
Times change...

1970: Moving to California because it's cool
2000: Moving to California because it's warm

-- Unknown

5548
Times change...

1970: Growing pot
2000: Growing pot belly.

-- Unknown

5549
Times change...

1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children

-- Unknown

5550
Times change...

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

-- Unknown

5551
Times change...

1970: Seeds and stems
2000: Roughage

-- Unknown

5552
Times change...

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints
2000: Popping joints

-- Unknown

5553
Times change...

1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel
2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity

-- Unknown

5554
Times change...

1970: Paar
2000: AARP

-- Unknown

5555
Times change...

1970: Killer weed
2000: Weed killer

-- Unknown

5556
Times change...

1970: Hoping for a BMW
2000: Hoping for a BM

-- Unknown

5557
Times change...

1970: The Grateful Dead
2000: Dr. Kevorkian

-- Unknown

5558
Times change...

1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint
2000: Getting a new hip joint

-- Unknown

5559
Times change...

1970: Rolling Stones
2000: Kidney stones

-- Unknown

5560
Times change...

1970: Being called into the principal's office
2000: Calling the principal's office

-- Unknown

5561
Times change...

1970: Up the system!
2000: Upgrade the system

-- Unknown

5562
Times change...

1970: Peace sign
2000: Mercedes logo

-- Unknown

5563
Times change...

1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

-- Unknown

5564
Times change...

970: acid
2000: antacid

-- Unknown

5565
Times change...

1970: Passing the driver's test
2000: Passing the vision test

-- Unknown

5566
Times change...

1970: "Whatever"
2000: "Depends"

-- Unknown

5567
Be slow in chusing a Friend, slower in changing.

-- Ben Franklin

5568
Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.

-- Ben Franklin

5569
When Knaves fall out, honest men get their goods: When Priests dispute, we come at the Truth.

-- Ben Franklin

5570
Experience keeps a dear school, yet Fools will learn in no other.

-- Ben Franklin

5571
How many observe Christ's Birthday; How few his Precepts! 0! 'tis easier to keep Holidays than Commandments.

-- Ben Franklin

5572
He that drinks his Cyder alone, let him catch his Horse alone.

-- Ben Franklin

5573
Who is rich? He that rejoices in his Portion.

-- Ben Franklin

5574
The Devil wipes his Breech with poor Folks' Pride.

-- Ben Franklin

5575
A ship under sail and a big-bellied Woman, are the handsomest two things that can be seen common.

-- Ben Franklin

5576
Industry pays Debts, Despair encreases them.

-- Ben Franklin

5577
They who have nothing to trouble them, will be troubled at nothing.

-- Ben Franklin

5578
There is much difference between imitating a good man, and counterfeiting him.

-- Ben Franklin

5579
Monkeys, warm with envious spite, their most obliging friends will bite.

-- Ben Franklin

5580
Half Wits talk much but say little.

-- Ben Franklin

5581
Let thy maid-servant be faithful, strong, and homely.

-- Ben Franklin

5582
Declaiming against Pride, is not always a Sign of Humility.

-- Ben Franklin

5583
An open Foe may prove a curse; But a pretended Friend is worse.

-- Ben Franklin

5584
Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it.

-- Ben Franklin

5585
'Tis easy to see, hard to foresee.

-- Ben Franklin

5586
Those who in Quarrels interpose, Must often wipe a bloody Nose.

-- Ben Franklin

5587
Where yet was ever found the mother, who'd change her booby for another?

-- Ben Franklin

5588
In a discreet man's mouth a publick thing is private.

-- Ben Franklin

5589
He that buys by the penny, maintains not only himself, but other people.

-- Ben Franklin

5590
Here comes Courage! that seized the Lion absent, and ran away from the present Mouse.

-- Ben Franklin

5591
Caesar did not merit the triumphal car more than he that conquers himself.

-- Ben Franklin

5592
He that hath a Trade, hath an Estate.

-- Ben Franklin

5593
There are no fools so troublesome as those that have wit.

-- Ben Franklin

5594
Late Children, early Orphans.

-- Ben Franklin

5595
Quarrels never could last long, If on one side only lay the wrong.

-- Ben Franklin

5596
You will be careful, if you are wise, how you touch men's Religion, or Credit, or Eyes.

-- Ben Franklin

5597
Subtract the time you spend on hold and waiting in line...and suddenly you have a life.

-- From a Bill Lyon column.

5598
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned
...couldn't concentrate.

-- Unknown

5599
I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so
...they gave me the ax.

-- Unknown

5600
I tried working in a muffler factory but that
...was exhausting.

-- Unknown

5600
I tried working in a muffler factory but that
...was exhausting.

-- Unknown

To top of page

5601
You're a Redneck if...

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

-- Unknown

5602
You're a Redneck if...

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

-- Unknown

5603
You're a Redneck if...

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

-- Unknown

5604
You're a Redneck if...

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

-- Unknown

5605
You're a Redneck if...

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

-- Unknown

5606
You're a Redneck if...

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

-- Unknown

5607
You're a Redneck if...

Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

-- Unknown

5608
You're a Redneck if...

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

-- Unknown

5609
You're a Redneck if...

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

-- Unknown

5610
You're a Redneck if...

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

-- Unknown

5611
You're a Redneck if...

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

-- Unknown

5612
You're a Redneck if...

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

-- Unknown

5613
You're a Redneck if...

Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

-- Unknown

5614
You're a Redneck if...

You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

-- Unknown

5615
You're a Redneck if...

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

-- Unknown

5616
You're a Redneck if...

You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

-- Unknown

5617
You're a Redneck if...

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

-- Unknown

5618
You're a Redneck if...

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

-- Unknown

5619
You're a Redneck if...

You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.

-- Unknown

5620
You're a Redneck if...

You took a fishing pole to Sea World.

-- Unknown

5621
You're a Redneck if...

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

-- Unknown

5622
You're a Redneck if...

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

-- Unknown

5623
You're a Redneck if...

You have a rag for a gas cap.

-- Unknown

5624
You're a Redneck if...

You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.

-- Unknown

5625
You're a Redneck if...

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

-- Unknown

5626
You're a Redneck if...

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

-- Unknown

5627
You're a Redneck if...

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.

-- Unknown

5628
You're a Redneck if...

Your richest relative buys a new house and calls you up to help him take the wheels off.

-- Unknown

5629
You're a Redneck if...

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

-- Unknown

5630
You're a Redneck if...

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

-- Unknown

5631
You're a Redneck if...

Your working TV sits on top of your non working TV.

-- Unknown

5632
You're a Redneck if...

You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.

-- Unknown

5633
You're a Redneck if...

You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.

-- Unknown

5634
You're a Redneck if...

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

-- Unknown

5635
You're a Redneck if...

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

-- Unknown

5636
You're a Redneck if...

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.

-- Unknown

5637
You're a Redneck if...

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

-- Unknown

5638
You're a Redneck if...

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

-- Unknown

5639
You're a Redneck if...

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.

-- Unknown

5640
You're a Redneck if...

Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

-- Unknown

5641
You're a Redneck if...

You've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

-- Unknown

5642
Things a true Southerner knows:

The difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

-- Unknown

5643
Things a true Southerner knows:

Pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

-- Unknown

5644
Things a true Southerner knows:

What general direction cattywumpus is.

-- Unknown

5645
Things a true Southerner knows:

That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar.

-- Unknown

5646
Things a true Southerner knows:

When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

-- Unknown

5647
Things a true Southerner knows:

The difference between Yankees and damn Yankees.

-- Unknown

5648
Things a true Southerner knows:

How good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.

-- Unknown

5649
Things a true Southerner knows:

Knows what "Well I Suwannee !!" means.

-- Unknown

5650
Things a true Southerner knows:

Ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits!!

-- Unknown

5651
Things a true Southerner knows:

A good dog is worth its weight in gold.

-- Unknown

5652
Things a true Southerner knows:

Real gravy don't come from the store.

-- Unknown

5653
Things a true Southerner knows:

When "by and by" is.

-- Unknown

5654
Things a true Southerner knows:

How to handle their "pot likker".

-- Unknown

5655
Things a true Southerner knows:

The difference between "pert' near" and "a right fer piece".

-- Unknown

5656
Things a true Southerner knows:

The differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.

-- Unknown

5657
Things a true Southerner knows:

Never to go snipe hunting twice.

-- Unknown

5658
Things a true Southerner knows:

At one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.

-- Unknown

5659
Things a true Southerner knows:

Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

-- Unknown

5660
Things a true Southerner knows:

You may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.

-- Unknown

5661
Things a true Southerner knows:

You should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.

-- Unknown

5662
Things a true Southerner knows:

A belt serves a greater purpose than holding Daddy's pants up.

-- Unknown

5663
Things a true Southerner knows:

Rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

-- Unknown

5664
Things a true Southerner knows:

Rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.

-- Unknown

5665
The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast.

-- Unknown

5666
Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work.

-- Unknown

5667
If you're not yourself today, enjoy it while ya can.

-- Unknown

5668
Maybe he/she doesn't act stupid; it might be the real thing.

-- Unknown

5669
If life isn't worth living, what else can you do with it?

-- Unknown

5670
Some people not only have bad luck... they're carriers.

-- Unknown

5671
If a man's Captain of his ship, his wife's likely the Admiral.

-- Unknown

5672
Give some women an inch, and they'll rearrange or redecorate it.

-- Unknown

5673
There're still incurable romantics -- we need better antibiotics.

-- Unknown

5674
Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation raps for years .

-- Unknown

5675
Ever notice how ignorance picks-up confidence as it goes along.

-- Unknown

5676
A billion's the current number of foods made with types of bran.

-- Unknown

5677
These days, an underprivileged kid only has one set of parents.

-- Unknown

5678
People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it`s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

-- Unknown

5679
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don`t.

-- Unknown

5680
Today is the last day of your life, so far.

-- Unknown

5681
If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.

-- Unknown

5682
If you can dream it, you can become it.

-- Unknown

5683
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

-- Unknown

5684
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

-- Unknown

5685
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

-- Unknown

5686
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

-- Unknown

5687
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.

-- Unknown

5688
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

-- Unknown

5689
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

-- Unknown

5690
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

-- Unknown

5691
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

-- Unknown

5692
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.

-- Unknown

5693
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

-- Unknown

5694
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

-- Unknown

5695
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

AND YOUR POINT IS?

-- Unknown

5696
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship.

-- Unknown

5697
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

Men aren't pigs...pigs are gentle, cute creatures!

-- Unknown

5698
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

Few women admit their age, few men act it.

-- Unknown

5699
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

Never fight ugly people--they have nothing to lose.

-- Unknown

5700
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS...

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

-- Unknown

To top of page

5701
The Facts of Life...
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

-- Unknown

5702
The Facts of Life...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

-- Unknown

5703
The Facts of Life...
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

-- Unknown

5704
The Facts of Life...
Don't worry about the world ending today...
It's already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you're in Australia -then start worrying)

-- Unknown

5705
The Facts of Life...
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

-- Unknown

5706
The Facts of Life...
Character is what you are.
Reputation is what people think you are.

-- Unknown

5707
The Facts of Life...
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

-- Unknown

5708
The Facts of Life...
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..

-- Unknown

5709
The Facts of Life...
A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.

-- Unknown

5710
The Facts of Life...
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

-- Unknown

5711
The Facts of Life...
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

-- Unknown

5712
The Facts of Life...
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
At least one.

-- Unknown

5713
The Facts of Life...
If at first you don't succeed ... well, so much for sky diving.

-- Unknown

5714
The Facts of Life...
A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions

-- Unknown

5715
Women should not have children after 35. Really...35 children are enough.

-- Unknown

5716
I live in my own little world, but it's OK, they know me here.

-- Unknown

5717
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

-- Unknown

5718
Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.

-- Unknown

5719
If God had intended for man to use the metric system, Jesus would have only had ten disciples!

-- Unknown

5720
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!

-- Unknown

5721
Sign in Asian pet store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."

-- Unknown

5722
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

-- Unknown

5723
I don't have a big ego...I'm way too cool for that.

-- Unknown

5724
Dyslexia means never having to say that you're yrros.

-- Unknown

5725
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the 'terminal'?

-- Unknown

5726
I see your IQ test results were negative.

-- Unknown

5727
Regular naps prevent old age...especially if you take them while driving.

-- Unknown

5728
When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.

-- Unknown

5729
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

-- Unknown

5730
I've learned there is little difference in husbands...you might as well keep the first one.

-- Unknown

5731
I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.

-- Unknown

5732
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

-- Unknown

5733
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

-- Unknown

5734
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

-- Unknown

5735
I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

-- Unknown

5736
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

-- Unknown

5737
No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

-- Unknown

5738
I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: "CHECKOUT TIME IS 18".

-- Unknown

5739
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

-- Unknown

5740
Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

-- Unknown

5741
I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.

-- Unknown

5742
Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

-- Unknown

5743
The next time you feel like complaining, remember:
Your garbage can probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.

-- Unknown

5744
"I'd rather know some of the questions than all of the answers."

-- James Thurber

5745
"The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end."

-- Benjamin Disraeli

5746
"The secret of being a bore is to tell everything."

-- Voltaire

5747
"The time to be happy is now; the place to be happy is here."

-- Robert G. Ingersoll

5748
"Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way."

-- Topo Gigio

5749
"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"

-- Leroy Satchell Paige

5750
"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

5751
"Depravity is its own reward."

-- Unknown

5752
"It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English - up to fifty words used in correct context - no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese."

-- Carl Sagan

5753
"The Messiah will only come when he is no longer needed."

-- Franz Kafka

5754
"Having vision means seeing with the heart."

-- Lucie Marty

5755
"I knew that if I lived long enough, something like this would happen."

-- George Bernard Shaw's epitaph

5756
"If I don't see you no more in this world, I'll meet you in the next one; & don't be late.

-- "From Don't be late" James Marshall Hendrix

5757
"God does not play dice with the universe"

-- Albert Einstein

5758
"For in the end, we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught."

-- Baba Dioum

5759
"Many of the things you can count don't count. Many of the things you can't count really count."

-- Albert Einstein

5760
"Man exists in a twilight zone between beast and Buddha"

-- Unknown

5761
"Don’t be afraid of mistakes; there are none."

-- Miles Davis

5762
"The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up."

-- Paul Valery

5763
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

-- Mark Twain

5764
"The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people."

-- Walter Winchell

5765
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

5766
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides."

-- Henri Frederic Amiel

5767
"Between truth and the search for truth, I opt for the second."

-- Bernard Berenson

5768
"Errors, like Straws, upon the surface flow; He who would search for Pearls must dive below."

-- John Dryden

5769
"If we do not find anything pleasant, at least we shall find something new."

-- Voltaire

5770
"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions"

-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

5771
"We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give."

-- Norman MacEwan

5772
"Never forget that those who bring happiness to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

-- Maurice Maeterlinck

5773
"It is only those who never do anything who never make mistakes."

-- A. Favre

5774
"An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure."

-- Shelda Parsnip

5775
"Don't just stammer...DO something!"

-- Unknown

5776
Savor the warmth of every sun filled day, the chill wind of every raging storm, weeds as much as flowers, the bitter and the sweet."

-- Dean Koontz from "Dark Rivers of the Heart"

5777
"Loving someone deeply gives you strength; while being deeply loved gives you courage."

-- Lao Tzu

5778
"There's nothing you can do that can't be done."

-- Lennon & McCartney from "All You Need is Love"

5779
"I don't like work- no man does- but I like what is in work- the chance to find yourself."

-- Joseph Conrad

5780
"Never eat anything bigger than your head."

-- B. Kliban

5781
"Wine is proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy"

-- Ben Franklin

5782
"Nothing's more dangerous than an idea when it's the only one you have."

-- Emile Chartier

5783
"People who are resting on their laurels are wearing them on the wrong end."

-- Malcolm Kushner

5784
"Try? There is no try. There is only do or not do."

-- Yoda

5785
"The artist is not a different kind of person, but every person is a different kind of artist."

-- Eric Gill

5786
"Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun."

-- Pablo Picasso

5787
"If you do not expect the unexpected you will not find it, for it is not to be reached by search or trail."

-- Heraclitus

5788
"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong"

-- Joseph Chilton Pearce

5789
"The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love."

-- Pearl Bailey

5790
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."

-- Virginia Woolf

5791
"Whether you believe you can or believe you can't, you're right."

-- Joey Abzo Croemboza

5792
"I am not a crook!"

-- Richard Milhouse Nixon

5793
"I just can't imagine what happened to the tape."

-- Rosemary Woods

5794
"The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf."

-- Shakti Gawain

5795
"I shut my eyes in order to see."

-- Paul Gaugin

5796
A reporter asked jazz musician, Johnny Hodges if he could read music and he replied,"not enough to hurt me"

-- Unknown

5797
"I merely took the energy it takes to pout, and wrote some blues."

-- Mercer Duke Ellington

5798
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

-- Dr. Martin Luther King

5799
"Man can learn nothing except by going from the known to the unknown."

-- Claude Bernard

5800
"The Devil craps on the big pile"

-- Albert Einstein

To top of page

5801
Lend money to an Enemy, and thou'lt gain him; to a Friend, and thou'lt lose him.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5802
Strange! that a Man who has wit enough to write a Satyr, should have folly enough to publish it.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5803
The heart of the Fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of the wise man is in his heart.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5804
Visit your Aunt, but not every Day; and call at your Brother's, but not every night.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5805
What you would seem to be, be really.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5806
Prayers and Provender hinder no journey.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5807
Half-Hospitality opens his Door and shuts up his Countenance.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5808
Hear Reason, or she'll make you feel her.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5809
At the working man's house Hunger looks in, but dares not enter.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5810
Where there is Hunger, Law is not regarded; and where Law is not regarded, there will be Hunger.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5811
An empty Bag cannot stand upright.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5812
There's none deceived but he that trusts.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5813
Tricks and treachery are the practice of Fools that have not wit enough to be honest.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5814
Death; for the sooner we die, the longer shall we be immortal.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5815
There are lazy Minds as well as lazy Bodies.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5816
When you speak to a man, look on his eyes; when he speaks to thee, look on his mouth.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5817
Tart Words make no Friends: a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a Gallon of Vinegar.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5818
Sloth (like Rust) consumes faster than Labour wears: the used Key is always bright.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5819
The Way to see by Faith is to shut the Eye of Reason.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5820
As Pride increases, Fortune declines.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5821
Drive thy Business, or it will drive thee.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5822
A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good till as dead as a log.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5823
Observe all men; thyself most.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5824
Wish not so much to live long, as to live well.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5825
The Morning Daylight appears plainer when you put out your Candle.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5826
If you have time, don't wait for Time.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5827
The most exquisite Folly is made of Wisdom spun too fine.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5828
Search others for their Virtues, thyself for thy Vices.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5829
Hunger is the best Pickle.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5830
Little Strokes fell great Oaks.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5831
Clean your Finger, before you point at my Spots.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5832
Life with Fools consists in Drinking; with the wise Man, living's Thinking.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5833
Who is strong? He that can conquer his bad Habits.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5834
A man in a Passion rides a mad Horse.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5835
To-morrow I'll reform,
 The fool does say;
To-day itself's too late -
 The wise did yesterday.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5836
Dine with little, sup with less:
 Do better still; sleep supperless.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5837
If you'd lose a troublesome Visitor, lend him money.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5838
The wise Man draws more Advantage from his Enemies, than the Fool from his Friends.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5839
Each year one vicious habit rooted out, in time might make the worst man good throughout.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5840
None but the well-bred Man knows how to confess a fault, or acknowledge himself in an error.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5841
He that has not got a Wife, is not yet a compleat Man.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5842
Industry, Perseverance, & Frugality, make Fortune yield.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5843
Fear to do ill, and you need fear nought else.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5844
Seven wealthy towns contend for Homer dead,
Thro' which the living Homer beg'd his bread.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5845
Marry above thy match, thou'lt get a master.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5846
Seek Virtue, and of that possest,
To Providence resign the rest.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5847
Promises may get thee friends, but non-performance will turn them into enemies.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5848
Tho' Modesty is a Virtue, Bashfulness is a Vice.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5849
Many would live by their Wits, but break for want of Stock.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5850
Enjoy the present hour, be mindful of the past; & neither fear nor wish the approaches of the last.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5851
Hide not your Talents, they for Use were made: "What's a Sun-Dial in the Shade?"

-- Benjamin Franklin

5852
If evils come not, Then our fears are vain;
And if they do, Fear but augments the pain.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5853
Learn of the skillful: He that teaches himself, hath a fool for his master.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5854
Death takes no Bribes.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5855
E'er you remark another's sin, bid your own conscience look within.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5856
Anger and Folly walk cheek by jowl; Repentance treads on both their heels.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5857
Be not niggardly of what costs thee nothing, as courtesy, counsel, and countenance.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5858
Proclaim not all thou knowest, all thou owest, all thou hast, nor all thou can'st.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5859
Man's tongue is soft,
 And bone doth lack;
Yet a stroke therewith
 May break a man's back.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5860
Lazy bones! Dost thou think God would have given thee arms and legs, if he had not design'd thou should'st use them?

-- Benjamin Franklin

5861
No Gains without Pains.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5862
Beware of little Expenses: a small leak will sink a great Ship.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5863
There are no ugly loves, nor handsome prisons.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5864
He that would have a short Lent, let him borrow money to be repaid at Easter.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5865
Eat few Suppers, and you'll need few Medicines.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5866
If Passion drives, let Reason hold the Reins.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5867
Money and Man
A mutual Friendship show:
Man makes false Money,
Money makes Man so.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5868
To err is human, to repent divine; to persist devilish.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5869
Here comes Glib-Tongue: who can out-flatter a Dedication; and lie, like ten Epitaphs.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5870
In Marriage Without love, there be love without Marriage.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5871
A Lie stands on one leg, Truth on two.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5872
Grief often treads
Upon the heels of pleasure,
Marry'd in haste,
We oft repent at leisure;
Some by experience
Find these words misplaced,
Marry'd at leisure,
They repent in haste.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5873
The Tongue offends, and the Ears get the cuffing.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5874
Ceremony is not Civility; nor is Civility Ceremony.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5875
Mankind are very odd Creatures:
 One half censure what they practise, the other half practise what they censure;
the rest always say and do as they ought.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5876
An undutiful Daughter will prove an unmanageable Wife.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5877
Glass, China, and Reputation, are easily crack'd, and never well mended.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5878
He is not well bred, that cannot bear Ill-Breeding in others.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5879
Kings and Bears often Worry their keepers.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5880
Light Purse, heavy Heart.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5881
He's a fool that makes his Doctor his Heir.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5882
A Brother may not be a Friend, but a Friend will always be a Brother.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5883
Ne'er take a Wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5884
He that lieth down with Dogs, shall rise up with Fleas.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5885
Beware of the young Doctor and the old Barber.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5886
The Creditors are a superstitious sect, great observers of set Days and Times.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5887
Duty is not beneficial because it is commanded, but is commanded because it is beneficial.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5888
Fools make feasts and Wise Men eat them.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5889
Great beauty, great strength, and great riches are really and truly of no great use; a right Heart exceeds all.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5890
To bear other people's afflictions, every one has courage and enough to spare.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5891
Epitaph on a Scolding Wife by her Husband:
 Here my poor Bridget's Corps doth lie,
 she is at rest, and so am I.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5892
He's a Fool that cannot conceal his Wisdom.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5893
All Blood is alike ancient.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5894
Tim was so learned, that he could name a Horse in nine Languages. So ignorant, that he bought a Cow to ride on.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5895
A true Friend is the best Possession.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5896
Great Spenders are bad Lenders.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5897
Many complain of their Memory, few of their Judgment.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5898
You may talk too much on the best of Subjects.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5899
The same man cannot be both Friend and Flatterer.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5900
He who multiplies Riches multiplies Cares.

-- Benjamin Franklin

To top of page

5901
"Chinese" Proverb...
Man who run in front of car get tired.

-- Unknown

5902
"Chinese" Proverb...
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

-- Unknown

5903
"Chinese" Proverb...
Man with one chopstick go hungry.

-- Unknown

5904
"Chinese" Proverb...
Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails.

-- Unknown

5905
"Chinese" Proverb...
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

-- Unknown

5906
"Chinese" Proverb...
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

-- Unknown

5907
"Chinese" Proverb...
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

-- Unknown

5908
"Chinese" Proverb...
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

-- Unknown

5909
"Chinese" Proverb...
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

-- Unknown

5910
"Chinese" Proverb...
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

-- Unknown

5911
"Chinese" Proverb...
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

-- Unknown

5912
The poor have little,
  Beggars none;
The rich too much
  Enough not one.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5913
Hear no ill of a Friend, nor speak any of an Enemy.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5914
Pay what you owe, and you'll know what is your own.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5915
An old man in a House is a good Sign.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5916
Those who are fear'd, are hated.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5917
Be always ashamed to catch thy-self idle.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5918
At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5919
If you would keep your secret from an Enemy, tell it not to a Friend.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5920
The Traveller that is struck by Lightning, seldom gets home to tell his Widow.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5921
The Things which hurt, instruct.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5922
The Eye of a Master will do more Work than his Hand.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5923
Let thy discontents be thy secrets; if the World knows them 'twill despise thee and increase them.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5924
"Everything is a miracle. It is a miracle that one does not dissolve in one’s bath like a lump of sugar!"

-- Pablo Picasso

5925
"God is the shortest distance between zero and infinity...in either direction."

-- Alfred Jarry

5926
"God is a practical joker with unlimited resources."

-- Wanda Simpson

5927
"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment."

-- Jalal Ud-Din Rumi

5928
"In creating, the only hard thing is to begin; A grass blade’s no easier to make than an oak."

-- James Russell Lowell

5929
"Reality is that which, when you quit believing in it, doesn't go away."

-- Philip K. Dick

5930
"The map is not the territory."

-- Alfred Korzbyski

5931
"An awful lot of people can't see the trees for the forest."

-- Unknown

5932
"The future ain't what it used to be."

-- Yogi Berra

5933
"The neurotic has problems; the psychotic has solutions."

-- Thomas Szasz

5934
"Every form correctly seen is beautiful"

-- Goethe

5935
"They've said all they can say about me, except that I'm dead"

-- Georgia O'Keefe

5936
"Oh, lonesome’s a bad place to get crowded into."

-- Kenneth Patchen

5937
"Love and death are the two great gifts that we pass on, and we usually pass them on unopened"

-- Rilke

5938
"Only when he no longer knows what he is doing does the painter do good things."

-- Edgar Degas

5939
"A drawing is the nervous system made visible."

-- John Perriault

5940
"Civilization is a transient sickness."

-- Robinson Jeffers

5941
"Few people have the imagination for reality."

-- Goethe

5942
"We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

5943
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."

-- Oscar Levant

5944
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world. "

-- Mahatma Ghandi

5945
"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm."

-- Unknown

5946
"Holy War is a contradiction of terms..."

-- Elie Wiesel

5947
"What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind..."

-- Thomas Hewitt Key

5948
"Opposites are a product of fragmentary understanding."

-- Abraham Maslow

5949
"It has been demonstrated that some amphibians are able to use celestial bodies for navigation"

-- Encyclopaedia Brittanica

5950
"The world is a comedy to those who think; a tragedy to those who feel."

-- Horace Walpole

5951
"Progress is the victory of laughter over dogma."

-- Benjamin De-Casseres

5952
"Rats is like sausages only they got fur an' stuff."

-- Unknown

5953
"Always strive not to bleed on your work."

-- Unknown

5954
"Don’t ever let something as mundane as gravity keep you down."

-- Craig Convissor

5955
"A life well-spent is indeed long."

-- Leonardo daVinci

5956
"Adventure is not outside a man; it is within"

-- David Grayson

5957
"Against boredom, even the gods contend in vain."

-- Nietzsche

5958
"Someone’s got to talk about accountability, someone’s got to raise some Hell, it might as well be me."

-- Jimmy Buffett from the song, Cultural Infidel

5959
"I have made this letter somewhat longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short."

-- Blaise Pascal

5960
"In art, economy is always beauty."

-- Henry James

5961
"A word spoken in due season; how good it is!"

-- Proverbs 15:23

5962
Samson, for all his strong Body, had a weak Head, or he would not have laid it in a Harlot's lap.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5963
He that waits upon Fortune, is never sure of a dinner.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5964
Drink water, put the Money in your pocket, and leave the dry-bellyache in the punch-bowl.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5965
Full of Courtesie, full of Craft.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5966
Approve not of him who commends all you say.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5967
You cannot pluck roses
Without fear of thorns,
Nor enjoy a fair wife
Without danger of horns.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5968
A Slip of the Foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the Tongue you may never get over.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5969
It is wise not to seek a Secret and honest not to reveal it.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5970
Neither a Fortress nor a Maidenhead will hold out long after they begin to parley.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5971
Field well till'd and a little Wife well will'd, are great riches.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5972
Nothing humbler than Ambition, when it is about to climb.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5973
The discontented Man finds no easy Chair.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5974
Virtue and a Trade, are a Child's best Portion.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5975
Take heed of the Vinegar of sweet Wine, and the Anger of Good-nature

-- Benjamin Franklin

5976
The Bell calls others to Church, but itself never minds the Sermon.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5977
The good or ill hap of a good or ill Life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill Wife.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5978
What one relishes, nourishes.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5979
Don't think to hunt two Hares with one Dog.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5980
All things are easy to Industry, all things difficult to Sloth.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5981
He that cannot obey, cannot command.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5982
A house without woman and firelight, is like a Body without soul or sprite.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5983
You may delay, but Time will not.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5984
Have you somewhat to do tomorrow, do it today.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5985
Love and Tooth-ache have many Cures, but none infallible, except Possession and Dispossession.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5986
Do good to thy friend to keep him, to thy enemy to gain him.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5987
Teach your Child to hold his tongue, he'll learn fast enough to speak.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5988
In Rivers and bad Governments, the lightest things swim at top.

-- Benjamin Franklin

5989
"The subtlety of nature is greater many times over than the subtlety of the senses and understanding."

-- Francis Bacon

5990
"Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited while imagination embraces the entire world."

-- Albert Einstein

5991
"Pleasure is the carrot dangled to lead the ass to market; or to the precipice."

-- Robinson Jeffers

5992
"The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim."

-- E. W. Dijkstra

5993
"There is a pleasure sure, in being mad, which none but madmen know."

-- John Dryden

5994
"I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

-- Roy Croft

5995
"Truth; n. An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance."

-- Ambrose Bierce

5996
"If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants."

-- Albert Einstein

5997
"Some lies are so well disguised to resemble truth, that we should be poor judges of the truth not to believe them ."

-- Willliam Jefferson Clinton (Words from the master.)

5998
"That which has been believed by everyone, always and everywhere, has every chance of being false."

-- Paul Valery

5999
"It's better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it."

-- Telpo Lendolotoproj

6000
"The fantastic advances in the field of communication constitute a grave danger to the privacy of the individual."

-- Earl Warren

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